- Himself - Host: As listed in the Guinness Book of World Records, what part of his body did Charlie Chaplin have insured for $150,000?
- Herself - Center Square: His little tramp.
- [laughter]
- Herself - Center Square: Little tramp... if you got it when it got bigger.
- Himself - Host: Garth, according to Men's Health, what is the single greatest cause of stress for men?
- Himself - Panelist: Whoopee? No...
- [laughter]
- Herself - Center Square: Most men, you'd be right!
- Himself - Host: He served in Washington, told tall tales, and was famous for wearing a raccoon hat on his head. Who...
- Herself - Center Square: Now you know they had to change that question, I bet they did. 'Cause the hat, they said "Who wore a Coonskin hat?". I said hey, HEY! Don't ask me Coonskin questions!
- Himself - Host: So who was the person who did all those things?
- Herself - Center Square: What?
- Himself - Host: You know, served in Washington, told tall tales, and wore the raccoon hat on his head.
- Herself - Center Square: Sam Donaldson
- Herself - Panelist: [in a question about Porky the Pig] I'm sensitive about weight. I have an eating disorder, did you know that?
- Himself - Host: No, I didn't.
- Herself - Panelist: I have the opposite of anorexia, I think I'm thin.
- Himself - Host: Why in Wheatridge, Colorado were the recently deceased taxed $18?
- Himself - Panelist: I actually know this because I started my dance career in Wheatridge. An embalming tax, that's what it was. An embalm...
- Herself - Panelist: Richard is touching my butt!
- [the camera cuts to Richard on all fours, checking out Leah's butt, then cuts to Tom Bergeron going down the stairs with a bottle of Disco Sweat]
- Himself - Host: [Leaning into Richard's square and spraying Richard with the Disco Sweat] Get in your square! Get in your square!
- Himself - Panelist: [Being sprayed with Disco Sweat] AAH!
- Himself - Host: [after returning to the podium and wild applause] Sorry it had to come to this.
- Himself - Panelist: Tom, I feel different.
- [laughter]
- Himself - Host: It's an embalming tax.
- Himself - Panelist: It's an embalming tax.
- [Brenda, Ms. O, agrees]
- Himself - Host: It's a hotel tax they had to pay while awaiting burial, so X gets the square.
- Herself - Center Square: WHAT? Now wait a minute, what happened to the mortuary? Didn't they use to put dead people in the mortuary, and since when ARE these people getting hotel rooms?
- Himself - Host: I just read it, it's in...
- Herself - Center Square: WHAT'S HAPPENING IN AMERICA? Giving dead people hotel rooms? They can't even watch the satellite!
- [laughter]
- Himself - Panelist: No, they're checking in rather than checking out.
- [laughter]