Scrubs (TV Series)

My Cold Shower (2007)

Donald Faison: Dr. Christopher Turk

Quotes 

• Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : [after Kelso suggests J.D. is sad about Elliot's engagement]  Can you believe him?

  Dr. Christopher Turk : Well, you and Elliot did go through a lot.

  Nurse Carla Espinosa : You two have been on and off again more than Ross and Rachel from Friends.

  Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : Please, I am nothing like Ross.

  Dr. Perry Cox : Of course not. You're Rachel; she's Ross.

• Dr. Christopher Turk : [to JD's lookalike]  Hey J.D., I was wondering if I could borrow your scooter, so I could run a few erran...

  Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : [the real J.D. walks up behind Turk]  He looks nothing like me! He doesn't even have any laughter in his eyes, like at all!

• Melody O'Harra : Well... it's official: I am the only single sorority sister left. I guess it's true what they say: first one to be in a threesome, last one to get married.

  Dr. Christopher Turk : Damn!

  [beats one hand over the table where Doug is sitting at, pouring Doug's coffee over him] 

  Dr. Christopher Turk : I'm sorry, she just said she was in a threesome.

  Dr. Doug Murphy : [having the same reaction as Turk's, and so forth]  Damn!

  male nurse : Damn!

  surgeon : Damn!

  Snoop Dogg Resident : [out of frame]  Damn!

  Melody O'Harra : I just don't want to end up like my aunt Sheila and get married and have a kid when I'm 50; I mean, you find a tooth in that house, you don't know whose mouth it fell out of.

  J.D. : Oh...

  Melody O'Harra : Sometimes I wonder, you know, if I'm ever actually going to find someone, you know?

  J.D. : Yeah... Now, was it two girls and a guy, or a devil's threesome?

  Melody O'Harra : All-girl.

  Dr. Christopher Turk : [as J.D. lifts coffee cups from the table, he beats both his hands on it]  Damn! Sorry...

• Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : Well, I'm giving up on Melody.

  Dr. Christopher Turk : Dude, no. Man, me? I'm married, so I may never, ever, EVER have sex again. You? There's still a chance for you. Damn it, if you're not going to do it for yourself, at least do it for me.

  Todd : And me.

  Dr. Doug Murphy : For all of us.

  [the other three look strangely at Doug] 

  Dr. Doug Murphy : What? You guys are surprised I don't get any?

• Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : I'm tired of the cold showers.

  Dr. Christopher Turk : That was yesterday, when she was this confident, young hotel reviewer. Today she's a sad, vulnerable, last single woman standing. Now, are you going to create a wonderful memory and then secretly call me from the bathroom right after, or not?

  Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : Turk, you know I'd like to be the one making the secret bathroom call for once, but I'm not that desperate.