"George Lopez" George Joins the Neighborhood Wha-tcha and Raises the Vigil-ante (TV Episode 2007) - George Lopez as George Lopez

George Lopez : [beating on door] Molester! We know what you do!
George : Look Angie, if the Big Bad Wolf comes after Little Red Riding Hood, then that's bad and it must be stopped, but if Mother Goose wants to get with Jack and the Beanstalk, sabes que, we know he wants it too so it's all good.

Angie Lopez : That is a total double standard.

George : No it's not, it's two standards, one for men, one for women, a double standard would be what I just said except twice.
George Lopez : We just found out a molester moved into the neighborhood and we're going to go over there.

Benny : I'll get my gun.

Angie Lopez : Benny! You are on probation, you can't have a gun!

Benny : I'm not an idiot, it's not registered to *me*.
George Lopez : Max, have a seat. Someone just moved into the neighborhood that I wanna warn you about. She's a criminal and I want you to stay away from her.

Max Lopez : Wow, what'd she do?

George Lopez : She had sex with a boy your age.

Max Lopez : ...And then she killed him...?

George Lopez : No! Look, having sex with an underage boy is a crime.

Max Lopez : Is she hot?

George Lopez : Let's just say I don't think her last victim suffered.
George Lopez : We just found out a child molester moved into the neighborhood and we're gonna scare him out, you want in?

Mr. Gutierrez : But I got brownies in the oven, man. But I'll catch up with you later.

George Lopez : Okay, we'll be across the street.

George Lopez: George Lopez