Little Fockers (2010)
Robert De Niro: Jack Byrnes
Photos
Quotes
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Jack Byrnes : Are you still physically attracted to my daughter, Greg?
Greg Focker : To Pam? Are you kidding? Yes. Jack, there's never been a problem with that.
Jack Byrnes : [sternly] Even after her body's endured the hellish ordeal of birthing twins?
Greg Focker : Yes. Even after that. It's still... It's all good. It's all good under the hood.
Jack Byrnes : That's disgusting.
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Greg Focker : You're not going to erase my son's memory.
Jack Byrnes : Greg, he saw his father inject a needle into his grandfather's penis. He already has issues. That's something he might never recover from.
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Greg Focker : I'm getting off the wheel.
Jack Byrnes : What wheel?
Greg Focker : [losing it] The wheel! The little hamster wheel that we're all running up to get a little taste of your little water thingy!
[imitates a hamster]
Greg Focker : Just, please, approval! Approval! Please! Give me some of the Jack... yeah...
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Jack Byrnes : What about Mommy and Daddy, is everything okay with them?
Samantha Focker : I guess they fight sometimes.
Jack Byrnes : Mmm-hmm. And what do they fight about?
Samantha Focker : Um, like Mommy got mad at Daddy because he was going to the hotel with Andi.
Jack Byrnes : Andi?
[Sam laughs and nods]
Jack Byrnes : Who's Andi?
Samantha Focker : I can't say because I'm not supposed to be spying.
Jack Byrnes : Like I always tell you, there's nothing wrong with spying as long as you suspect foul play. So, who's Andi?
Samantha Focker : Andi gives Daddy his boners.
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Jack Byrnes : Focker, there is no way I'm going into an ER room with this thing. Now you need to stick me and you need to stick me now! I'm having a dick attack! Stick me!
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Jack Byrnes : If I go down, Greg, I need to know someone will be responsible for the whole Byrnes clan. So I ask you, Greg, are you prepared to be... the Godfocker?
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Jack Byrnes : [Defensively to Prudence] I'm not gay myself, but if I were gay, I would certainly be proud to choose a life partner like Gay Focker. And that's his actual name.
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Jack Byrnes : [to his former son-in-law as he approaches him in a bar] Dr. Bob... Scumbag!
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Jack Byrnes : I'm watching you.
Greg Focker : Yeah, well I have eyes too, so I'll be watching you... watching me.
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Jack Byrnes : [as Jack is being loaded into an ambulance, to Greg] Focker!
EMT : Why is he cursing at us?
EMT : We're just trying to help you sir...
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Jack Byrnes : Sam might be three-quarters Byrnes, whereas Henry could very well have a double dose of Focker in him.
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Jack Byrnes : We've had this date since the beginning, Greg.
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Jack Byrnes : I know you were telling the truth about Andi, Greg.
Greg Focker : Really?
Jack Byrnes : Yeah. The pulse on your carotid artery remained steady as you pleaded your innocence.
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Jack Byrnes : Sir, Where Is Andi?
Butler : I Cannot Believe Is In The Bathroom, Take It Down From This Message
Jack Byrnes : That's Good Though
Butler : Right!
Jack Byrnes : Fine!
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[Jack has a boner]
Greg Focker : Jack, is everything Ok down there?
Jack Byrnes : Everything's fine.
Greg Focker : Ok. All right. 'Cause you seem to have a little, I mean...
Jack Byrnes : I-I know what I have, Greg, and I'm not concerned about that right now. Right now, what I want from you is the truth.
Greg Focker : Jack... did you take one of those pills?
Jack Byrnes : Well, I was highly preoccupied and Dina wanted to make love, and the label clearly states that it's safe for heart patients.
Greg Focker : Yes, but you need a prescription after you've had a thorough examination.
[turns on a lamp]
Greg Focker : How long have you had that... situation for?
Jack Byrnes : Stop avoiding the question.
Greg Focker : I'm not avoiding the question. If you've had that for more than four hours, you could bust a capillary and have serious permanent damage. How long have you had it?
Jack Byrnes : Uh, been a little longer than four hours.
Greg Focker : How long?
Jack Byrnes : Um, maybe about five and a half.
Greg Focker : Jack, you gotta get to an ER right now and get a shot of adreneline to counteract that drug.
Jack Byrnes : Well, you're a nurse. Don't you have that kind of stuff in the house?
Greg Focker : Yeah, I have an epi-kit, but I'm not gonna give you a shot there, OK?
Jack Byrnes : Focker, there's no way I'm going to an ER room with this thing. Now, you need to stick me, and you need to stick me now! I'm having a dick attack! Stick me!
Greg Focker : Shh! Just... relax, Ok? I'll get the needle.
