George Lopez (TV Series)

George Nieces a New Media Room (2007)

George Lopez: George Lopez

Photos 

Quotes 

• George Lopez : [to Benny]  Okay, Mom, we got you a cake, huh? Make a wish.

  Benny : Let's see, I'm about to go on trial for an armed robbery that my ex-boyfriend committed. Oh, yesterday, I washed underwear for 600 women and my cell mate's delousing didn't take. I wish for a pony.

• George Lopez : He's not staying the night at our house again.

  Veronica : You'd rather we went to a sleazy motel?

  George Lopez : I'll make the reservation.

• Veronica : [a large bunny's at their picnic table]  Tell me this is stuffed, and not Mike in a bunny suit.

  George Lopez : I didn't think of that. Mike, are you in there?

  [grabs golf club] 

  George Lopez : Mike?

  [clubs the rabbit in the crotch] 

  George Lopez : It's stuffed, or I got him.

• Angie Lopez : [to George]  It's your mom's birthday. We promised to visit her in jail.

  George Lopez : Hey, this is gonna be tough on her. She hasn't had a birthday without booze or men since she was 8.

• George Lopez : Angie, we'll deal with your screwed up family later. We gotta get to the jail for my mom's birthday party.

• Veronica : I'm tired of dating guys my age. They play games and I wind up getting hurt. At least with Mike, I know it's not serious. We're just having fun. It's casual.

  George Lopez : And what about Mike's wife? Is she having fun too?

  Veronica : Oh, his wife doesn't get him anymore. She has trust issues. Every time he's working late, she thinks he's cheating.

  George Lopez : Maybe next time you're hiding under the bed, you can slide out and explain it to her.

• Veronica : Uncle George, I can handle it, okay?

  George Lopez : No, you can't. You're in way over your head.

  [to Angie] 

  George Lopez : Look, I told you we'd end up raising another kid, and we can't even punish her by sending her to her room because then she has high def and surround sound. I mean, I guess I could program it to two-channel stereo, but then everybody loses.

• George Lopez : [after Mike shows up at the Lopez house looking for Veronica]  Dude, leave my niece alone. Man, you're married! And why do you have a suitcase?

  Mike : I just left my wife. I love you, Veronica. Now nothing stands between us being together.

  George Lopez : There is one thing: WAAPAHH!

  [shuts the door in his face] 

• George Lopez : [as he watches Veronica and Mike talking to each other]  All right, that's enough. I'm getting rid of this guy right now.

  Angie Lopez : No, they're talking it out. If it gets out of control, then we intervene.

  George Lopez : You love this.

  Angie Lopez : What are you talking about?

  George Lopez : All the drama! You love being surrounded by crazy people so you can fix 'em because you're the drama queen, and this is your kingdom.

  Angie Lopez : I know you're upset, but you're starting to annoy me.

  George Lopez : And that'd be what, more drama? Hmm, good news for the queen.

• George Lopez : [to Veronica when Mike calls her again]  Every time you talk to him, you're just encouraging him. You gotta get inside the stalker's mind. I knew this guy who was so in love with this woman. He followed her to work, left notes on her car, camped out at her house. I finally had to say, "Look, if you don't knock this off, Ernie, you're gonna go to jail!"

  Angie Lopez : That was a really uncomfortable summer for me.

• George Lopez : [after Mike appears in Veronica's bedroom]  What the hell are you doing here?

  Mike : Hey, this is none of your business.

  George Lopez : My niece, my business.

  Mike : [pushes George away]  Take your hands off me.

  George Lopez : Look, there's not gonna be any fighting. Just relax, all right? Let's talk about this like two civilized...

  [hits Mike] 

  George Lopez : [to Angie and Veronica]  I just lost the element of surprise! Call 9-1-1!

• Veronica : Mike's gonna be in jail for a couple of days and I can get a restraining order tomorrow.

  Angie Lopez : Well, I hope you learned your lesson.

  George Lopez : You don't get to say that. You didn't throw down with some British dressmaker. Sewing must make your hands strong because that dude almost choked me out.