Rowan Atkinson: Various Roles

Quotes 

• Huge Scullery : Now we can go to Bristol for news of an earlier story. I believe that there, in Bristol, you have news of a duck that does nothing.

  Bristol Reporter : Uh, no. We've got a pheasant that roller skates and a man who sits in trees and shits on passers-by.

  Huge Scullery : That's, um... that's not the person who eats trees by any chance?

  Bristol Reporter : Uh... no, I don't think so.

• Angry Ranter : I tell ya! The other thing... the OTHER thing they're always trying to palm you off with in the Sunday bloody... color supplement... is all this bloody digital bloody electronic sort of crap! You know, calculators and watches and all that! But you still get these twits on Tomorrow's World or what-have-you with their diddy sort of chip sort of things on their fingers, you know, they come in: 'I have here, on the end of my finger, a revolutionary little piece of technology that will change all our lives.' And you can't bloody see it! They could be lying half the time! And you'd never know! There's probably hundreds of fraudulent professors wandering about with their fingers in the air, saying 'oooh, look what I found!'

• Butler : Sir, the Prime Minister and Mr. John Cleese.

  [Prime Minister and John Cleese enter] 

  King George II : Ah, Mr. Prime Minister! Mr. Cleese! What news from Parliament?

  Prime Minister : Much as ever, my lord.

  [walks to window and opens the curtains, showing an industrial wasteland] 

  TV Pitchman : Add a little irony...

  Prime Minister : The country is prosperous. The people are happy.

  [closes the curtains] 

  TV Pitchman : ... and we can get rid of the celebrity.

  [John Cleese gets up and leaves without saying a word] 

  King George II : Strange fellow, that Cleese.

  Prime Minister : But amusing, I find him.

  King George II : You know Thomas, of course.

  Prime Minister : Ah, yes yes, of course. I believe we met, in, um...

  TV Pitchman : Turn on the Minority/Racial Interest...

  Prime Minister : ... Puerto Rico! Ayyyyyyy!

  Thomas Arkwright : Ayyyyyyyy!

  [they high five]