- [a scientist is being interviewed about his project to communicate with a gorilla sitting next to him]
- Interviewer: Professor, can Gerald really speak as we would understand it?
- Prof. Timothy Fielding: Oh yes, yes. He can speak a few actual words. Of course it was extremely difficult to get him even to this stage. When I first captured Gerald in the Congo, '67 I think it was...
- Gerald, the Gorilla: '68
- Prof. Timothy Fielding: '68. Umm... there was an awful lot of work to do. He was enormously slow and difficult. I had to do a lot of work with him on a sort of one-to-one basis...
- Gerald, the Gorilla: [interrupting] Yes, yes, if I might just butt at this point Tim, I think I should point out that I have done a considerable amount of work on this project myself and if I may say so your teaching methods do leave a bit to be desired...
- Prof. Timothy Fielding: That's a bit ungrateful, isn't it?
- Gerald, the Gorilla: ...and your diction for instance...
- Prof. Timothy Fielding: I'm sorry, I'm sorry! Can I put this into some sort of perspective? When I caught Gerald in '68 he was completely wild.
- Gerald, the Gorilla: Wild? I was absolutely livid!
- Prof. Timothy Fielding: I didn't see the point of him writing letters, I mean they either ate them or wiped their bottoms on them.
- Gerald, the Gorilla: Look, I know you've never got on with my mother.
- Prof. Timothy Fielding: Well, she didn't exactly like me either, did she?
- Gerald, the Gorilla: She got on perfectly well with David Attenborough.
- Prof. Timothy Fielding: David Attenborough! All I ever hear is David bloody Attenborough!
- Gerald, the Gorilla: Let's leave Dave out of this.
- Prof. Timothy Fielding: Oh, shut up and have a banana!
- Gerald, the Gorilla: All right, then, I will.
- Gerald, the Gorilla: I went to evening classes.
- Prof. Timothy Fielding: Oh, shut up about your bloody evening classes, Gerald!
- Gerald, the Gorilla: As Aristotle once said...
- [speaks Greek]
- Prof. Timothy Fielding: You arrogant little bastard, you're wrecking my life's work! Trampling around the garden... eating daffodils!
- Gerald, the Gorilla: I do *not* eat daffodils.
- Prof. Timothy Fielding: Well, somebody does, don't they?
- Interviewer: Well, I'm afraid that's all we've got time for. Professor, Gerald, thank you very much.
- A Daffodil: He bloody does eat daffodils, you know.
- Female Reporter: And fears for President Carter's sanity increase after he was seen at a protest rally calling for his own resignation.