The Riches (TV Series)

Been There, Done That (2007)

Eddie Izzard: Wayne Malloy

Quotes 

• [first lines] 

  Wayne Malloy : [narrating voice over]  I'm Wayne Malloy. My family and I are travelers. Our kind have been living in this country for a hundred and fifty years. We're not listed in the phone book, we don't have social security numbers, we live off the grid. Some people call us gypsies, some call us thieves. Most of them don't even know we exist.

• Wayne Malloy : [to Dahlia]  Look what I got? A pink one.

• Wayne Malloy : [pretending to be Mr. Rich]  Mr. Chambers, we're not interested in people or pets blowing up. I mean, I mean, we're completely against anyone blowing up, I mean, even a little bit. But you know sometimes-sometimes in your life, shit just happens, you know? You know it does. I mean, you're just going along, living your own life, living in your house, just minding your own business, suddenly, kapow! Your whole life explodes. Just like in -uh, Well, but then, what are you gonna do? You gonna give up? You gonna just call it a day? No. No, no, that's not what we do. No, we rally. We-we turn it all around. Because we're Americans. We take those grenades and we turn 'em into lemonade. Because that's what distinguishes us from sand crabs. We keep going. And I ask this of you because I ask nothing less of myself. Thank you. Thank you for your time.

• Hugh Panetta : This was your divorce, right?

  Wayne Malloy : [pretending to be Doug Rich]  Yes. It was a traumatic. So I've just blacked everything out.

• Jim Burns : Hey, neighbors. You got here before we all take ecstasy and dive naked into the pool.

  Wayne Malloy : [pretending to be Doug Rich]  Seriously?

  Jim Burns : It's happened.

• Dahlia Malloy : Kids okay?

  Wayne Malloy : Di Di's screwing around with Guitar and Cael must be out with that neighborhood kid.