Mind Your Language (TV Series)

The First Lesson (1977)

Zara Nutley: Miss Courtney

Photos 

Quotes 

• Miss Courtney : I distinctly requested for the local authority to send a woman teacher, especially in view of what happened to Mr. Warburton.

  Jeremy Brown : Mr. Warburton?

  Miss Courtney : Yes, he was teaching English language for Foreign students last term. I'm afraid he only lasted a month. Then, he departed.

  Jeremy Brown : Dead?

  Miss Courtney : Demented! Yes, the strain was too much for him. Typical of the male sex, no stamina! Always seem to be able to cope at first and then he just snapped! It was really quite disgusting!

  Jeremy Brown : Really? What did he do?

  Miss Courtney : Climbed out of the classroom window, on to the roof, took off all his clothes and stood there stark naked singing "I've Got A Lovely Bunch of Coconuts!"

  Jeremy Brown : How distressing. Well, there's no need to worry on my account. I mean, I'm not about to climb out of the classroom window!

  Miss Courtney : I know you aren't.

  Jeremy Brown : Oh? Thank you for your confidence!

  Miss Courtney : It has nothing to do with confidence. We've had the window frames nailed down!

• Ali Nadim : Excuse me, please, lady.

  Miss Courtney : Yes, what is it?

  Ali Nadim : I am coming here for to be learning the English.

  Miss Courtney : You are early.

  Ali Nadim : No, I am Ali.

• Miss Courtney : Let's start again. Go down the corridor...

  Ali Nadim : [repeating]  Down the corridor.

  Miss Courtney : Good. Turn left...

  Ali Nadim : [repeating]  Turn left.

  Miss Courtney : Right.

  Ali Nadim : But you are confusing me, left or right?

  Miss Courtney : It's... left.

• Jeremy Brown : Mrs Courtney.

  Miss Courtney : [correcting Mr Brown]  Miss!

• Jeremy Brown : I'm your new teacher, Jeremy Brown, BA Oxen.

  Miss Courtney : You're a man!

  Jeremy Brown : Yes.

  Miss Courtney : Well, this is most unsatisfactory! This won't do at all!

  Jeremy Brown : I assure you my credentials are impeccable.

  Miss Courtney : Academically perhaps, I'm talking about sex!

  Jeremy Brown : I also assure you my morals are perfectly respectable too.

  Miss Courtney : I'm referring to the fact that you are a man.