The Office (TV Series)
Traveling Salesmen (2007)
Steve Carell: Michael Scott
Photos
Quotes
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Michael Scott : You know what they say? "Fool me once, strike one. But fool me twice... strike three."
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Stanley Hudson : Pass.
Michael Scott : You can't pass. You gotta pick somebody.
Stanley Hudson : [looks around] I'll take the kid.
Ryan Howard : [in the confessional] I'm very flattered. I was his second choice after "pass."
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Michael Scott : I want you to think about your future at this company. I want you to think about it long and hard.
Dwight Schrute : That's what she said.
Michael Scott : Don't... Don't you dare.
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Michael Scott : Jim, could you come in here, please?
[Jim enters Michael's office, there's an improvised face with fake teeth and eyes on his computer monitor, a voiceover reads everything he types]
Michael Scott : Hi, Jim.
Jim Halpert : Hello.
Harvey The Computer : I am Harvey, a computer. Jim sucks.
Michael Scott : [laughing] Sorry. Oh, wow. That's so rude. I'm sorry, I can't control him.
Jim Halpert : Yeah, you can.
Michael Scott : You know what? Get Pam.
Jim Halpert : For this?
Michael Scott : Pam!
[keeps typing while Pam enters his office]
Harvey The Computer : Pam, you look very hot today.
Jim Halpert : Pam, meet Harvey. This is Michael's new friend.
Pam Beesly : Great.
Harvey The Computer : Me so horny. Me love you long tim.
Michael Scott : Wow, that is gross!
Pam Beesly : Who's Long Tim?
Michael Scott : [to himself] Dammit...
[types rapidly]
Harvey The Computer : Long time. Me lobe yoy long time.
Jim Halpert : Oh, well "yoy" should bring Long Tim in one day.
Pam Beesly : I'd love to meet Long Tim.
Jim Halpert : Yeah, right?
Harvey The Computer : [Michael types rapidly] You ruined a funny jok-u. Get out of my off-five.
Jim Halpert : Ok.
Pam Beesly : Ok. Bye, Harvey.
[she and Jim exit Michael's office]
Harvey The Computer : Boobs.
[Michael grins]