George Lopez (TV Series)

Weekend at Benny's (2004)

Belita Moreno: Benny

Quotes 

• [after Carmen and Max break the computer during a fight] 

  George Lopez : You guys are spoiled brats. You take everything for granted. You don't know how good you have it. You guys wouldn't have been able to make it through one week of my childhood.

  Benny : Oh, please. They wouldn't last one night at my house. You know, they would probably start crying the very first time they had to drink water out of the tap. "Oh, it's slightly yellow."

• Benny : Do they have to do everything I say?

  George Lopez : Yes... okay but you can't hit them, and you can't make them hit themselves either.

• George Lopez : Mom, let me ask you a question, what do you think about a teenage girl wearing thongs?

  Benny : Well, I used to think it was trashy, but Randy likes it...

  [pulls up thong strap] 

  Benny : and they're pretty comfortable!

  George Lopez : [nauseated, to Angie]  You're right, they're not sexual at all.

• Carmen Lopez : What time do we have to go to bed?

  Benny : I don't care, I got three basic rules: don't touch my beer, don't touch my smokes, and don't sneak up on me in my sleep. I keep a gun under my pillow, and I sleep au naturale.

• Benny : Hey George, you got any rubber gloves? Apparently some of my cleaning chemicals burn the skin.

  Angie Lopez : Benny, where are the kids?

  Benny : Oh relax, they're fine. When I left the boy was rewiring the lamp and the girl was sitting on the couch sobbing, you know, kids stuff.