Two and a Half Men (TV Series)

Walnuts and Demerol (2006)

Susan Sullivan: Dorothy

Quotes 

• [last lines] 

  Alan Harper : [in bed with Dorothy]  Okay, just so we're clear: you're only doing this to piss off my mom?

  Dorothy : Is that a problem?

  Alan Harper : Nah, it makes it better!

• Dorothy : [to Gloria, about Charlie]  You can't sleep with him because he might be your brother!

• Dorothy : Alan?

  Alan Harper : Uh, yes.

  Dorothy : I haven't seen you in thirty-five years.

  Alan Harper : No kidding. Uh, I'm sorry, I... I... I don't remember you.

  Dorothy : Oh. Well, I'm not surprised. At the time, you were busy learning to use the big boy potty.

  Alan Harper : Ah. Well, I did it!

• Dorothy : Listen, Alan. I'm looking for my daughter.

  Alan Harper : Drunk blonde?

  Dorothy : Well, she isn't always blonde...

• Dorothy : You've turned into a very attractive young man.

  Alan Harper : Thank you!

  Dorothy : Could've gone either way. Lucky you grew into those ears.

• Dorothy : It's not like we couldn't expect this, given that your son has spent his adult life humping his way through the Las Vegas adult population!

  Evelyn : Oh, like this booze-addled tart is an innocent victim?

  Gloria : Hey! I'm drunk, not deaf!