- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: McGee and I watched the sunrise together. It was very Brokeback Mountain.
- Special Agent Timothy McGee: He had me at "Howdy."
- Abby Sciuto: [discussing a murder victim's clothes] His underwear are boxer briefs, like you wear, Gibbs.
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: You're fishing, Abbs.
- Abby Sciuto: So, are they regular boxers? Trunks? Bikinis? Nothing?
- Jody Carvell: ...and I can only think of one explanation: it was the hand of God!
- Officer Ziva David: Hmm... can Gibbs arrest God?
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: I don't know. That's sort of like The Thing trying to bring in The Hulk.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: [after seeing a body's decomposing genitalia] Ducky, is there any way to psychologically "unsee" something?
- Officer Ziva David: [McGee and DiNozzo have taken off their shirts] This is just like Chippendales without the bowties... or muscles.
- Dr. Donald 'Ducky' Mallard: [Ducky is examining a decomposing corpse dumped in a living room] I'll have to research the predatory, manipulative, grandiose nature of this behavior, but my first impression is that we're dealing with a complete loon.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: That Master's in Psych is starting to pay off, Ducky.
- Dr. Donald 'Ducky' Mallard: [watching Gibbs in interrogation] She's telling the truth.
- Officer Ziva David: Where are you going?
- Dr. Donald 'Ducky' Mallard: To tell Gibbs.
- [leaves Observation]
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: What do you think?
- Officer Ziva David: Glad the glass is bulletproof.
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: How'd this guy die, doctor?
- Dr. Donald 'Ducky' Mallard: As I told you, when I know, you'll know.
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Know faster.
- Abby Sciuto: You shaved your moustache. I liked you with a little hair on your face.
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Still got my eyebrows.
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: McGee, over here. Hands and knees.
- Special Agent Timothy McGee: You're not going to step on me, are you?
- [looks up at Gibbs, Gibbs looks back]
- Special Agent Timothy McGee: Footprints, right.
- [crouches down]
- Special Agent Timothy McGee: Footprints, footprints, looking for footprints... it's a pretty tight weave.
- Dr. Donald 'Ducky' Mallard: Looks like sisal. It's a naturally stiff fiber woven from the leaf of the cactus plant. It doesn't matt, trap dust, build static, makes it ideal for carpeting. Personally, I prefer a good shag.
- [Gibbs and McGee just look at him while Palmer grins like a loon]
- Dr. Donald 'Ducky' Mallard: Uh, from a... criminal investigative standpoint.
- Officer Ziva David: [answering her cell phone] Officer David.
- Jody Carvell: This is Jody Carvell. I am standing outside of the Larson Lane house. Are you aware that the police tape is still up?
- Officer Ziva David: Yes, it's an ongoing investigation.
- [to Gibbs]
- Officer Ziva David: It's the real estate agent.
- Jody Carvell: Okay, for how much longer? It costs me money every day I can't show this house.
- Officer Ziva David: Yes, but I...
- Jody Carvell: This is outrageous. You clearly...
- Officer Ziva David: No, I...
- Jody Carvell: I would like to speak to your supervisor, if I could.
- Officer Ziva David: [annoyed, to Gibbs] She wants to have a word with my supervisor.
- [Gibbs takes the phone, ends the call, closes the phone, and hands it back to Ziva]
- Special Agent Timothy McGee: [opening the deceased's storage locker] Maybe we should put some Vic's under our noses.
- Officer Ziva David: I doubt we'll find a body.
- Special Agent Timothy McGee: I hope not. I hate that.
- Dr. Donald 'Ducky' Mallard: A reminder that Shakespeare got it wrong- we are not food for worms, it's the flies and beetles that feast upon us.
- Bob Whitehead: That's about how it looked three months ago. The living room floor was the last thing we closed up. We ran the AC ducts under this section. The damn inspector was weeks late.
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: You have security at night here, Bob?
- Bob Whitehead: Not on a job this size. We use standard fiberglass insulation, CDX subfloor.
- [CDX - type of plywood, C & D refers to plywood grading, X refers to glue]
- Bob Whitehead: You see something?
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Well, yeah, your joist, 24 inches on center. I would have built them on 16.
- Bob Whitehead: Then you wouldn't make a profit.
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: That joist there look discolored to you?
- Bob Whitehead: Could be mold.
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Mold spreads from the bottom up.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Amido Black, On it, boss.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Kind of reminds me of Pacific Heights.
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Don't tell me. A movie?
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Yeah, interesting plot. Yuppie couple buys their dream house then the tenant from hell tries to destroy it. Michael Keaton's best work. Looks like organic material. Would a two by six match Finn's head injury?
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Ducky thinks the blunt object hit his temple.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Or maybe his temple hit a blunt object. Which would have landed him nose-first in this insulation.
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Get a sample of this wood back to Abby.
- Dr. Donald 'Ducky' Mallard: Excuse me, uh, could I have a word with you?
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Working.
- Dr. Donald 'Ducky' Mallard: It's related and important. She's telling the truth.
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: God put the body there.
- Dr. Donald 'Ducky' Mallard: No. Someone who was playing God. She didn't bury him.
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Your gut telling you this?
- Dr. Donald 'Ducky' Mallard: She feels guilt, empathy, remorse.That doesn't fit the psychological profile.
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: She's deceitful, conniving, an adulterous, which does.
- Dr. Donald 'Ducky' Mallard: I'm trying to give you my professional opinion.
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Then tell me after I have finished interrogating the suspect
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: One black mesh t-shirt. Do women really like these?
- Officer Ziva David: Depends on who's wearing it.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: So if I'm...
- Officer Ziva David: No!