- Dr. Bob Kelso: Hiya, sport!
- Baby Jack: Your skin is wrinkly!
- Dr. Bob Kelso: Yeah? Well, that shirt you're wearing is gay!
- Dr. Kim Briggs: J.D., we have to talk about all of our pregnancy options, even if they make us uncomfortable- There's one way of dealing with this that no one's mentioned yet... the "A" word.
- J.D.: I know.
- [as Kim speaks too]
- J.D.: Appletinis.
- Dr. Kim Briggs: [as J.D. Speaks too] Abortion... what?
- J.D.: I though that we could discuss abortion over Appletinis.
- Nurse Laverne Roberts: Did somebody just say "abortion"?
- Dr. Kim Briggs: Laverne, with all due respect, this is none of your business... or Jesus'.
- Nurse Laverne Roberts: [puts a Jesus statue on the counter] I believe he would beg to differ...
- [J.D.' fantasy starts]
- Jesus: She's right, J.D., every life is precious.
- J.D.: But what if having this baby is a huge mistake for us?
- Jesus: [sighs tiredly, massages his own eyes and stretches from stress] OK... I'm gonna make this real simple: no abortion, OK?
- J.D.: But what if...
- Jesus: [in a high-pitched voice] No abortions...
- J.D.: Let me finish... what if the parents were, like, abusive drug-addicts who would neglect their kid?
- Jesus: Oh, well, in that case it'd be OK.
- J.D.: Really?
- Jesus: No abortions! How are you not getting this?
- [J.D.'s fantasy ends]