- Alvin Seville: [sees Jillian sitting on a park bench] There she is. Ready, Simon?
- Simon Seville: [Simon is now dressed like a jock and has all different sports equipment] This better work.
- Alvin Seville: I personally guarantee it. Jocks always get the girl. Bruce Jenner, Joe Namath...
- Theodore Seville: [trying to help] Liberace.
- Alvin Seville: You're not helping, Theodore.
- Simon Seville: It's Jillian! What do I do?
- [drops groceries]
- Alvin Seville: What's with him?
- Theodore Seville: He likes Jillian, but she doesn't seem to like him.
- Simon Seville: She thinks I'm a loser, a reject, a... a...
- Theodore Seville: A nerd?
- Simon Seville: [sarcastically] Thanks, Theodore.
- Alvin Seville: Go talk to her, Simon. Let me see what you're doing wrong.
- [pushes him to Jillian]
- Simon Seville: No, Alvin.
- Alvin Seville: Go on, Simon.
- [shoves him]
- Simon Seville: [accidentally bangs into Jillian and knocks her over] Uh, hi, Jillian. Please accept my humble apologies.
- Alvin Seville: [turns to Theodore] That's his opening line?
- Alvin Seville: [Alvin has changed Simon to make him more macho] Okay, Simon, she's right down the aisle. GO GET HER.
- Simon Seville: [to Jillian] Hey, hot stuff.
- Jillian: [startled] Huh?
- [drops her library books]
- Jillian: Simon, is that you?
- [Jillian is surprised to see Simon in his new macho clothes]
- Simon Seville: [trying to sound macho] Just call me Hunk, babe.
- Alvin Seville: [whispering to Simon] Tell Jillian she's a foxy mama.
- Simon Seville: Mama? That's an improper noun.
- Jillian: What did you say?
- Simon Seville: Uh, nothing.
- [goes to help Jillian pick up her books]
- Simon Seville: [still trying to sound macho] Here, sugar, let Hunk get those.
- Theodore Seville: [sees Jillian from a distance talking to a guy with a motorcycle] Look, there's Jillian.
- Duke: [to Jillian] I got my bike all juiced up for the big race tomorrow.
- Jillian: I'll be there cheering for you, Duke.
- Alvin Seville: So *that's* it. Jillian's into motorcycle guys.
- Simon Seville: ALVIN, I DON'T LIKE MOTORCYCLES.
- Alvin Seville: But you do like Jillian, don't you?
- Simon Seville: [thinking about it] Well...
- Alvin Seville: Trust me. The way to her heart is on two wheels.
- Duke: [looks at Simon's bike before the race] Hey, kid. You can go faster on a bus.
- Simon Seville: I don't know how you talked me into this, Alvin.
- Alvin Seville: One word. Jillian.
- Theodore Seville: [at Simon's motorcycle race] I hope nothing goes wrong. Dave would be awfully upset.
- Alvin Seville: Don't worry. Dave doesn't even know we're here.
- David 'Dave' Seville: [back home in the yard] Fellas, it's time for the yard work!
- David 'Dave' Seville: [finds a newspaper on the ground and picks it up to read it]
- David 'Dave' Seville: [reading it] Motorcycle Race.
- [disbelievingly]
- David 'Dave' Seville: They wouldn't.
- David 'Dave' Seville: [thinks again] They would!
- David 'Dave' Seville: [shocked to see that Simon was just in a motorcycle race] Simon, what's come over you?
- Simon Seville: Well, uh... uh...
- Alvin Seville: [referring to Jillian] Here she comes now.
- Jillian: [runs over to Simon] Simon, I'm so impressed with the modifications on your bike.
- Simon Seville: You are?
- Jillian: My cousin Duke wants to know all about them.
- Simon Seville: Your cousin?
- [walks over to Alvin, furious]
- David 'Dave' Seville: Well, Simon's back to his old self.
- Alvin Seville: [starts up Simon's motorcycle] So he won't be needing *this*.
- Theodore Seville: [Alvin and Theodore ride off] Bye, Dave!
- David 'Dave' Seville: ALVIN!