- Derek the Fishmonger: I can take a "bottom", I can even swallow "bottocks", but I draw the line at "cleft".
- Paul Slippery: So sniggering about adultery and sexual innuendo, that's all fine. But mentioning a part of the body that we all share, that can't be done in a polite society, is that right? What is the matter with this country? You've got a bottom, I've got a bottom, fish have got bottoms, sort of.
- Derek the Fishmonger: Please sir, don't drag the fish into this. Into your ugly world. This country was built on fish, the great clouds of cod and whiting, the gurnard, the fork-bearded lamprey, the Whitstable eel, that has the tact to mate just once every three years, yes. With respect, sir, you know nothing of fish.