Veronica Mars (TV Series)
Charlie Don't Surf (2006)
Kristen Bell: Veronica Mars
Photos
Quotes
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Veronica Mars : No jokes. No innuendoes, no quips. Don't even think of alluding to having seen me naked or having touched any part of my body that does not have fingers.
Logan Echolls : Can I mention that my eyes adored you? I got it. No calling you bobcat, no talk of milky thighs.
Veronica Mars : Go home.
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Veronica Mars : Here's a fun thing to say to your beau: 'Mind if I go put the screws to someone?
Logan Echolls : Go ahead, screw your brains out.
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Dick Casablancas : You're torturing me!
Veronica Mars : Without even trying? God, I'm good!
Dick Casablancas : My brothers are all sorts of pissed. They think you're coming after them instead of trying to find the real raper.
Veronica Mars : Do you mean rapist? Learn the terminology!
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Veronica Mars : Your last name is Chu?
Hsiang 'Charleston' Chu : Yeah.
Veronica Mars : Charleston Chu?
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Veronica Mars : Remember that case a couple years ago where that woman was impersonating her boss? How did you obtain the ATM photos that proved it?
Keith Mars : I know a guy, a representative of the bank. He needs to request a court order and once the court order is issued, it only takes about an hour to get the photos.
Veronica Mars : So, it's a piece of cake.
Keith Mars : A monkey with a friend who's a bank representative can do it.
Veronica Mars : So, Bubbles. You feel like doing me a solid? Hm?
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Keith Mars : Is it possible your boyfriend's financial problems are just his champagne wishes and caviar dreams biting him on the ass?
Veronica Mars : One solid-gold foosball table and a couple of man-servants and suddenly he's spendy.
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Veronica Mars : Umm, did you trip and fall onto sandalwood, musk, and a hint of spicy citrus or is that cologne?
Keith Mars : It's aftershave. I'm going to traffic court.
Veronica Mars : Sexy traffic court?
Keith Mars : Hmm. Nice shoes. You change your major to Women's Studies?
Veronica Mars : Ha! Yuk it up, fancy pants.
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Wallace Fennel : I liked the other place you worked better.
Veronica Mars : Think maybe that's because we had food there?
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Veronica Mars : A problem is just an opportunity in disguise.
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Veronica Mars : [voice-over] Who knew that when opportunity knocked it would look like a horny surfer?
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Veronica Mars : [Hands store clerk a photo] Do you remember this girl? Her name is Claire.
Walter : Yeah, I saw her. So drunk she could barely stand. If your parents knew what you kids really do here...
Veronica Mars : And you're sure it was her?
Walter : She came in with a guy. She's falling asleep on my magazine rack. He's trying to scrap together change to buy prophylactics. Then he's all mad because he can't use a credit card unless he spends fifteen dollars, so I sent him next door to the ATM. They came back later, he bought his raincoat, one less bastard child conceived by morons.
[In a sing-song voice]
Walter : Everyone's haaaappyyy!
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Veronica Mars : [Hands store clerk a photo] Do you remember this girl? Her name is Claire.
Walter : Yeah, I saw her. So drunk she could barely stand. If your parents knew what you kids really do here...
Veronica Mars : And you're sure it was her?
Walter : She came in with a guy. She's falling asleep on my magazine rack. He's trying to scrape together change to buy prophylactics. Then he's all mad because he can't use a credit card unless he spends fifteen dollars, so I sent him next door to the ATM. They came back later, he bought his raincoat, one less bastard child conceived by morons.
[In a sing-song voice]
Walter : Everyone's haaaappyyy!
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Veronica Mars : In my world, the wicked don't get parting gifts.