Comedy Playhouse (TV Series)

Of Funerals and Fish (1973)

Michael Bates: Blamire

Photos 

Quotes 

• Blamire : [pointing at Compo]  He's still calling for me in broad daylight.

  Clegg : Tell the neighbours he doesn't belong to you; you're just looking after him for somebody.

  Compo : They've taken me telly again.

  Clegg : Only because you haven't paid; it's nothing personal.

• Clegg : No need to be prejudiced against him, Cyril, just because he looks like summat from Rent-a-Drain.

  Compo : That's true. I've got my feelings, you know.

  Blamire : Oh, I do know. I've seen you scratching 'em

  Clegg : You've got to remember, Compo, that Cyril's a Tory, and Tories can't stand it if you're filthy and obscene. That's what the Labour Party's for.

• [last lines] 

  Compo : Well, see ya.

  Clegg : Tomorrow.

  Blamire : At the library.

  Compo : Tada.

  Blamire : Cheerio.

  Clegg : Tada.

  [Compo and Blamire leave] 

  Clegg : [looking at the flowers from his wife's grave]  I don't know, lass; it's a rum old world. Nonetheless, I, uh, I think I'll go and get a bit of sausage for me tea.

• Blamire : Well, what was wrong with chapel, eh?

  Clegg : I felt somehow that it should have more humour. And perhaps a bigger organ. No, I'm not convinced. I mean for a start, if God's omnipotent, with all that choice available what could he possibly want with my old woman? No, it implied blind chance working there, not selection. Oh, I know I chose her but think on: she was a lot younger then and it were the height of the Depression. Nobody expected owt fancy.

  Compo : Well, even if you don't believe in God, He'd take her just for spite. They're all alike, the bosses.

  Blamire : What do you know, you tatty heathen?

  Compo : I'm entitled to my opinion.

  Blamire : Not exactly an expert opinion, is it? Considering how much experience you've had of either church or full employment.