Last of the Summer Wine (TV Series)

Hermione (the short course) (2005)

Brian Murphy: Alvin

Quotes 

• [first lines] 

  Alvin : I'm Alvin, vaulter of rivers!

  [Ivy sighs] 

  Nora : Don't look. It only encourages him.

  Ivy : I've never seen anyone with a firmer hold on stupidity.

  Nora : Why do they settle here? Why don't they go and annoy Australia?

  Ivy : They'd never find Australia.

• [last lines] 

  Clegg : Who married Whitehorn's lass?

  Billy : Tall kid from Denby Street.

  Truly : Venables.

  Billy : Took to drink.

  Truly : I thought that was you.

  Clegg : Didn't we go to his funeral?

  Billy : He's still alive!

  Clegg : Oh well, we probably didn't then.

  Truly : That was another Venables.

  Billy : A dead one. You'd think some people'ld know the difference.

  Alvin : [climbing out of river]  I'm Alvin, swimmer of rivers.