- Auntie Wainwright: In all my life I've never seen a more mangled, bent, twisted wreck,
- [to Smiler]
- Auntie Wainwright: and for once I don't mean you.
- Smiler: Oh.
- Auntie Wainwright: I send you out with a perfectly good handcart...
- Smiler: Perfectly good! It's a bundle of firewood on wheels.
- Auntie Wainwright: It is now. Look at it. Have you ever seen anything in a more pathetic condition.
- Smiler: Nuh.
- Auntie Wainwright: It's a splintered, battered, mangled, twisted shambles...
- Tom: We need a new vehicle.
- Auntie Wainwright: Which only needs a touch of attention here and there to bring it back to showroom condition.
- Marina: Have you ever tried a dating agency?
- Miss Davenport: I did once. It was all computerized. I think they sent me a virus.
- Clegg: I remember Wagstaff; didn't want to go to Heaven if there was no marmalade.
- Truly: No way was he going to live forever without a full English breakfast.
- Billy: You have to suspect that Heaven's going to be big on organic and plenty of fibre.
- Alvin: Anyway, Wagstaff was looking in the wrong direction if he wanted toast.