The Woods Have Eyes (2007) User Reviews

So bad it's good

[onosideboard · 4/10 · 4 November 2007]

This low-budget horror flick manages to be just bad enough to be entertaining. Like a cross between "Growing Up Gotti," "Stand By Me," "My Side of the Mountain," and, well, "The Hills Have Eyes," the filmmaker put together a combination of elements so bizarre you can't stop watching--even though you will seriously consider it, several times.

We've got Carmine, who might have been kicked off an episode of "The Sopranos" for being too over-the-top, and a fat kid, and some other kids. They are hiking in the woods, and quickly become prey for a mentally retarded redneck, his redneck brother, and their redneck dad, Cappy. Fortunately, despite his short stature (or perhaps because of it), Carmine knows some sweet moves to defend himself and the boys. As an added bonus, one of the kids brought along a copy of an excellent survival guide, containing tips which, skimmed briefly, can teach a bunch of city kids how to outsmart three grown men who've lived in the woods their whole lives.

Throw in one completely pointless hot-blonde-hillbilly-girl, an army of cops who couldn't find a mountain if they were staring at it, and five minutes of Carmine shirtless, and you have yourself a great little flick to get drunk and laugh at. I will leave you with a quote, from the town sheriff: "Oh, Cappy, Cappy, Cappy. What have you done?"

Low budget amateur - over-acted but mildly watchable.

[dilbertsuperman · 2/10 · 20 October 2007]

This is part of a growing trend of amateur horror on a shoe-string budget. Our lead is like an Italian mel Gibson- about 4 feet tall with the moxy of a pit bull- which is like watching dwarf wrestling at times.

There's some kids in the movie which takes away from the "all my drinking buddies are in this film" feel that is common to the genre.

THE PLOT: several young boys and their two chaperones get stuck out in the woods for a night or two while they are stalked by hillbillies with guns and a score to settle. -not all of them are going to make it back..

The ending is contrived to the extreme and only reminds us that we are watching an amateur's idea of what a movie is.

Lot's of forest scenes and running around and hiding behind trees- right before someone gets whacked.

Worse than you can imagine

[mindcat · 1/10 · 3 July 2008]

Just when I thought a flick could not get worse, I find this toilet stuffer. I suppose this was low budget, but the acting, if you call it that, could have been done better by an average group of juvenile school drop outs.

In any event, I suppose, if you watch this as a comedy, it is good to feature on your plasma as you converse with friends or do other things, peeking at the screen when you reach a very dull moment. I do mean, a very dull moment.

The woods are not scary, they look more like an RV park. The actors are horrible so, what can I say? If you have nothing better to do watch this movie as you sleep. You won't really be missing much of a show.

Save your money!

[SCYoungReview · 1/10 · 23 January 2008]

This film is riddled with totally foolish dialog, camera shots and terrible sound fx (when there even were sound fx).

I think whomever wrote this script should have looked up some facts before making the characters spurt foolish statements such as "Birds don't sing at night!" after hearing the hillbillies do a LOON call. I live in Canada and I can tell you they most certainly do call at night! Anyhoo...

Bad acting by 95% of the cast, terrible sound fx, lame plot line (if you could even say it had a plot) and all around foolishness makes this movie a trash bag companion for sure!

An enjoyably awful piece of backwoods horror slasher schlock

[Woodyanders · 8/10 · 10 July 2008]

Stop me if you've heard this one before. A group of wholly insufferable city kids decide to go hiking in a remote woodland area that's the residential place of legendary local vicious redneck patriarch Cappy (atrociously overplayed with growly gusto by the burly John Kyle). Of course, the dumb kids discover that stories about Cappy being one nasty and lethal cuss are all too true. Of course, Cappy and his equally brutish two sons -- dim-witted hulk Clem (a hilariously broad portrayal by Adam Dunnells) and ferocious behemoth Luke (muscular hulk Michael Christeas) -- hunt the kids as if they were animals. And, of course, the kids tap into their latent killer survivalist abilities and fight back. Yes, this flick is really bad and idiotic, but still quite enjoyable in its very jaw-dropping crumminess. Limply directed by Anthony Indelicato (who also co-wrote the clichéd by-the-numbers script), with no tension or momentum to speak of, plenty of gut-busting unintentional guffaws (the hillbillies communicate with each other by making bird calls!), fuzzy digital cinematography by Valentina Caniglia, lousy acting from a lame no-name cast, cheesy gore f/x (which include an especially laughable and unconvincing decapitation), a dreadful "it was just a dream" cop-out ending, and an annoying monotonous score by William Enrico and Vincent Rongone, this baby possesses all the right wrong stuff to quality as a real four star stinkeroonie. The actors playing the kids are uniformly hateful and repellent in their teeth-grating obnoxiousness: Joseph Anthony as irritable hothead Carmine, Michael Bolten as the wimpy Ernie, Cody Greer as whiny, tubby slug Tommy, A.J. Diaferio as the jerky Michael, and Garrett Harrison as the mean Joe all display the charm and appeal of your basic dirty and disgusting wharf rat. As a nice added bonus, we even get three hot babes baring their beautiful bodies in the obligatory gratuitous group shower scene. A total crappy hoot.

Not good, not bad, just a shot on DV cheap slasher.

[ciscobudge · 6/10 · 13 January 2011]

I won't get too far into this movie because others have. I will say that it seems that most people hate this movie because it is a cheap movie, cheap actors, cheap special effects (although some were pulled off well), and a cheap, overused plot. The movie was not bad considering it was a shot on DV movie made for a fraction of a movie like Saw (III - VII) and it did not suck as bad as those films. I am sure people went in expecting a Hollywood 11 million dollar movie. The movie's plot is simple: six kids get lost in Central Florida woods where they are hunted by a wood family after the half-wit brother kills their friend, and they witness it. Of course they are stranded far away from law enforcement and any way to get a hold of the authorities. Even though it's a tired plot, I think the movie was put together and carried out well. One thing that caught my attention was that two cast member's names were almost definitely inspired by Manson Family members Cappy Gilles (Cappy) and Clem Grogan (Clem). I found that interesting. All in all, the movie does still deliver a nice atmosphere, especially if you are from Central Florida as I am. Central Florida woods deliver a look and feel that no other place can deliver. If you are expecting a masterpiece, this will suck. If you are expecting a cheap shot on DV movie, you may like it.

The woods have eyes

[stevensullivan1988 · 10/10 · 10 October 2007]

The movie was not the best, but at the same time I did enjoy it, its nothing big and it won't ever win any awards. But I still think it was good, they could have done with a better ending! but I would tell you only to rent if you know what you are getting yourself into, if you like low budget slasher independent films then I say you watch this. Now they said it was based on true events, I do not know how true that is, because it just seemed like the story has been done before. The acting is not to bad, some of the cast could have done better. But like I said I did enjoy the movie, maybe even enough to watch it again. All I'm saying is that there are better movies out there but there is also worse ones for sure. But if you do enjoy film, I think you should watch this.