- Hannah Montana: Thanks for comein'! See Y'all next time!
- [gets in limo]
- Jackson Stewart: [follows hannah pushing through crowd] Take it easy people! she picks her nose just like everybody else! one nostrle at a time!
- Hannah Montana: [shouts out window to fans] That is not true!
- Jackson Stewart: [looks out at hannahs fans] Right... she has people do it for her!
- [smiles and winds up window]
- Hannah Montana: HEY! that was one time! my nails were wet and... Lilly offered!
- Robbie Stewart: [pushes through paparazzi] CLEAR IT! OUT OF MY WAY! THIS IS MY HOUSE! GET BACK! HEY! why don't y'all go chase a crooked pollitician? at least he'll smile for ya!
- [robbie smiles and twiddles his at to paparazzi then enters house]
- Robbie Stewart: [robbie looks at miley and jackson] So! when exactly where you two gonna tell me you were dating?
- Miley Stewart: come on dad it's not funny! it's horrible
- [sits down]
- Jackson Stewart: yeah how could anybody believe that i would go out with someone like her?
- Miley Stewart: Jackson! it would be the luckiest day of your life if you got to date hannah montana and WHAT am i saying?
- Miley Stewart: [Miley's mobile rings] OH GREAT! just what i need!
- [miley answers phone]
- Miley Stewart: hi Traci
- Traci: Hannah! i can't believe you have a boyfriend and didn't tell me! and he's sooo cute!
- Miley Stewart: Yeah, he's really emm... something!
- [looks at jackson who is messing about with his belly button]
- Traci: you have to bring him to the party i'm throwing for madonna tomorrow afternoon! everyone's going to be there! it's the perfect place to show off hannah's new Hottie!
- Miley Stewart: Trace i don't know how...
- [looks at jackson]
- Miley Stewart: ... we could pass up an oppertunity like this! of course me and my... Hottie will be at your party!
- Lilly Truscott: [sitting reading magazine] boy! life sure can be wierd! who would have thought that miley would be dating jackson and... you'd be burping a sack of flower? OLIVER! the assignment is to raise a fake baby! you dont get extra credit for turning into Daddy McDork!
- Robbie Stewart: I never thought I'd have to say this to any of my kids, but why didn't you break up with your sister, Jackson?
- Sarah: [to Oliver] Without the baby, we have nothing to talk about, you're boring, and you use petroleum based hair gel. It's over. Bye Lilly!
- Sarah: So... how about that grade we got on the baby project?
- Oliver Oken: Yeah... it's pretty great.
- [long pause]
- Sarah: Did you say something?
- Oliver Oken: No.
- Sarah: Oh, okay.
- [long pause]
- Oliver Oken: I'm just gonna go stretch my legs.
- Sarah: Alright.
- [walks over to Lily]
- Oliver Oken: She's sufficating me!
- Lilly Truscott: Sarah? The love of your life? The apple of your eye? The mother of your flour?
- Oliver Oken: That's just it. Without the kid we have nothing to talk about.
- Lilly Truscott: So, tell her how you feel and get it over with.
- Oliver Oken: Lily, you don't understand, I mean... it would break her heart. I'm her Big Daddy Oken.
- [Sarah taps him on the back]
- Sarah: Big Daddy? I gotta be honest. Without the baby, we have nothing to talk about, you're boring and you use petroleum-based hair products. It's over.
- [pause]
- Sarah: Bye, Lily!
- Sarah: There's my little cuddle-wuddles.
- [shows Oliver with flour sack]
- Sarah: Mommy got you some strained beats from a non-profit native american commune.
- Oliver Oken: Awww. Yummy. You missed it Sarah, sweetheart.
- [sits flour sack on table]
- Oliver Oken: He just learned how to sit up on his own.
- Sarah: Oh! Good for you!
- [pinches the flour sack's "cheek"]
- Sarah: It won't be long before you're all grown up and making alternative fuel out of raisins.
- Lilly Truscott: So... that's what this is all about.
- Oliver Oken: What?
- Lilly Truscott: Nothing. It's just you, Sarah and your flower child make a very cute family.
- Sarah: Thank you.
- Oliver Oken: Oh, Lily. You kidder. We're just friends doing an assignment. Nothing more.
- [walks away]
- Oliver Oken: Don't blow this for me. I really like her.
- Lilly Truscott: [laughing:] Since when?
- Oliver Oken: Since she became the mother of my assignment. Look, I can't explain it, but the more time I spend with her, the more I like her.
- Sarah: Oliver. I'm getting worried. I think he looks a little pale.
- Lilly Truscott: Of course he's pale! He's bleached flour!
- [Oliver gives Lily and horrified look]
- Lilly Truscott: Oliver! You've got to get your board! The waves are incredible today.
- [shows Sarah blowing raspberry on the flour sack]
- Oliver Oken: How did I get so lucky?
- Lilly Truscott: Everyone picked partners, and you were the only two left.
- Sarah: Olikens? Where's the sunscreen? Now that they've destroyed the ozone layer, we have to protect little Ollie.
- Oliver Oken: Coming, Sarah Boo.
- [starts to walk over to Sarah, but Lily stops him]
- Lilly Truscott: Olikens? Sarah Boo?
- Oliver Oken: [voice breaking:] I know... my cup runneth over.
- [goes over to Sarah and puts sunscreen on the flour sack]
- Oliver Oken: Oh, there you go.
- Sarah: Just think, one day, he could be a great humanitarion.
- Lilly Truscott: Or a couple dozen cupcakes!
- [Sarah and Oliver give Lily horrified looks]
- Jackson Stewart: [walking up to house after Hannah Montana concert] Hey Miley, Got your keys?
- Hannah Montana: Who's taking care of who?
- Jackson Stewart: Oh Yeah right. See ya!
- [walks inside leaving Miley as Hannah outside]
- Hannah Montana: Very funny Jackson. Open up!
- [knocks on door]
- Paulie the Paparazzo: Hey Hannah! I new if I followed you I would find out where you Lived!
- [takes pictures of Hannah]
- Hannah Montana: Live here? No I am just visiting a... friend
- [Jackson opens the door; Hannah puts her arm around him]
- Paulie the Paparazzo: Looks to me like a BOYFRIEND!
- Jackson Stewart: A what?
- [He and Hannah hurry inside while Paulie takes a picture of Jackson and Hannah]
- Robbie Stewart: Im gonna ask something I've never had to tell any of my children
- [looks at Jackson]
- Robbie Stewart: Why didn't you break up with your sister?