- Zack Morris: So where's Screech?
- Kevin the Robot: He's in the bathroom. Shaving.
- Zack Morris: Come on. What's he shaving? His cat?
- Samuel 'Screech' Powers: Where's the aftershave lotion, Kevin?
- Kevin the Robot: We don't have any. You're not using a blade yet.
- Lisa Turtle: I'm trying out for the drama festival. Do you believe me as a Southern belle?
- A.C. Slater: No, but I believe you as a northern ding-dong.
- Jessie Spano: We're all trying out for the drama festival. I'm auditioning as Joan of Arc.
- A.C. Slater: Hey, doesn't she die in that play?
- Jessie Spano: Yes.
- A.C. Slater: Go for it.
- Zack Morris: Wait. I've got it. This is genius. Today, we'll give Screech a surprise party.
- A.C. Slater: But his birthday was yesterday.
- Lisa Turtle: That's the surprise.
- Zack Morris: Now this will make Bayside history. It won't be just any surprise party. It'll be the most daring birthday party ever!
- Kelly Kapowski: Sounds exciting.
- Jessie Spano: Wait, I don't know about this. It sounds dangerous. I'm getting nervous!
- A.C. Slater: Will someone shoot her with a tranquilizer dart?
- Lisa Turtle: [Pretending to bicker] Oh, you guys don't stand a chance. I'm gonna win that drama festival.
- Jessie Spano: Oh, no way! My Joan of Arc will light up the stage!
- Kelly Kapowski: Only if they burn you at the stake!