- Stewie Griffin: I want some more of Jillian's delicious lemonade!
- Jillian: I know it's good right?
- [sadly]
- Jillian: I just wish they didn't have to kill so many lemons to make it...
- Stewie Griffin: Oh, This is Fun!
- Jillian: Omigod, Brian! I was watching this TV special about this guy called Hitler; somebody should stop him!
- Jillian: Think about this: Have you ever seen the sun and the moon at the same time?
- Peter Griffin: [gasps] They're the same person!
- Chris Griffin: [to Jillian] You're brilliant!
- Stewie Griffin: Life's confusing when we grow up, isn't it, Brian? Hey, can we listen to my mix tape?
- Brian Griffin: Yeah. Go ahead.
- Stewie Griffin: [singing along to Gary Numan's "Cars"] Brian had sex with a really dumb girl. Now he's taking his friend Stewie to get some ice cream, in his car.
- Brian Griffin: [turns off radio]
- Stewie Griffin: Oh you're a poor sport.
- Peter Griffin: Morning, Lois, I need you to proofread this and collate it for me.
- Lois Griffin: Peter, did you Xerox your penis?
- Peter Griffin: 300 times. It's a flip book. Flip through it or you're fired.
- Lois Griffin: Oh, God, Peter let's do it. Let's do it right here, right now!
- Peter Griffin: Lois, Lois wait. Wait. Opie's right there.
- Lois Griffin: I want him to look, Peter.
- Lois Griffin: Peter, what the hell are you doing?
- Peter Griffin: Lois, I'm gonna come right out with it. I think it would be hot for you and me to have sex in my office.
- Lois Griffin: Oh my God. There's no way that is going to happen. You know, it's no wonder you're so far behind in your work if this is how you behave at the office...
- Peter Griffin: Hey Quagmire. How was Florida?
- Glenn Quagmire: Oh, it was great. And guess what? I smuggled a whole bunch of fireworks back in my anus.
- Peter Griffin: Quagmire. Fireworks aren't illegal here. You could have just put 'em in your car and driven 'em up here.
- Glenn Quagmire: Huh, yeah, that's just as fun.
- Stewie Griffin: Oooh, now I get it. She's a moron. But a moron with large breasts you can use as mountains for matchbox cars, or whatever it is grownups do with large breasts.
- Stewie Griffin: So, Jillian, what are your views regarding homeland security? Do you think we should we support what the president is doing?
- Jillian: Well, I just think, for starters, that sometimes the government has things they can't tell us. And truthishly, we should just accept that.