The Vicar of Dibley (TV Series)

Dibley Live (1998)

Emma Chambers: Alice Tinker

Photos 

Quotes 

• [post credits] 

  Geraldine Granger : So there's this man vicar...

  Alice Tinker : Oh!

  Geraldine Granger : Yeah. And he's playing golf with his friend, John.

  Alice Tinker : John.

  Geraldine Granger : John, yup. And John misses a three foot putt.

  Alice Tinker : Oh, dear.

  Geraldine Granger : Yeah. And he says, "Damn it! Missed the bugger!" and the vicar tuts and he says, "John, you say that once more and God will open up the heavens and send a thunderbolt down to strike you dead." Well, the next thing that happens, John misses a two foot putt, and he says, "Damn it! Missed the bugger!"

  Alice Tinker : Uh-oh.

  Geraldine Granger : Yes. So the heavens open, a great big thunderbolt comes down and strikes the *vicar* dead. And God says, "Damn it! Missed the bugger!"

  Alice Tinker : No, no-no, that, that can't be right, can it? Because God wouldn't miss, 'cause He's God. I mean even though he was standing really close he'd still hit the right one, and he certainly wouldn't swear.

  Geraldine Granger : It's a very tiny brain you're housing in there, isn't it?