Last of the Summer Wine (TV Series)

Mervyn Would Be Proud (2002)

Keith Clifford: Billy

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Quotes 

• [first lines] 

  Billy : I wish somebody'd find the wife's sister attractive, and set up home with her in some far distant land.

  Truly : Liverpool?

  Billy : Farther than that.

  Truly : They're very close are they, your wife and her sister?

  Billy : It's not only a blood relationship; they're joined even closer by this common bond. Suspicion of me.

  Truly : I see. The blood in the relationship is usually yours.

• Truly : What have you been up to?

  Billy : Me? Nothing.

  Truly : Don't lie to me, lad.

  Billy : Why do you think I'm lying?

  Truly : I don't necessarily think you're lying. It's just something we get used to saying on the police force. Now, tell us what it is you've been lying about.