Two and a Half Men (TV Series)

That Pistol-Packin' Hermaphrodite (2006)

Emmanuelle Vaugier: Mia

Photos 

Quotes 

• Mia : She wanted to give me a shower!

  Charlie Harper : An engagement shower?

  Mia : An actual *soap and water* shower! I don't want her coming to the wedding!

  Charlie Harper : I don't want her in the same *zip code*!

• Charlie Harper : [Charlie's family and Mia's family have just had dinner together]  Your family hated me, didn't they?

  Mia : Well... not *just* you.

• Mia : We may as well just go to Vegas and elope.

  Charlie Harper : Now there's an interesting concept. In Vegas, not only can we get married immediately, we can get drunk and gamble away our nest egg!

  Mia : Don't forget the lap dances and hookers!

  Charlie Harper : Oh, you're gonna make a great wife!

• Mia : I wanna talk to you about our honeymoon.

  Charlie Harper : I'll take you anywhere you want to go. Frankly, I'd pick a place with a nice ceiling because we're just going to take turns looking at it!

• Mia : [after Charlie refuses to kick out Alan and Jake]  C'mon, Charlie! We need our privacy!

  Charlie Harper : But they're my family. I can't just kick them out!

  Mia : You could've said something before *now*!

  Charlie Harper : Who knew your idea of marriage was you and me alone in a house?

• Mia : My dad called today. He wants to take your family out for a nice dinner.

  Charlie Harper : Yeah? Well, tell him he can have one or the other, but not both!

  Mia : C'mon, Charlie. They're going to have to meet sooner or later.

  Charlie Harper : Okay. But why don't we wait for a real happy occasion?

  Mia : What's happier than a wedding?

  Charlie Harper : My mother's funeral springs to mind. There'll be music, dancing, my mom will be in a box!