American Pie Presents: The Naked Mile (2006 Video)
Steve Talley: Dwight Stifler
Photos
Quotes
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Dwight Stifler : Nobody starts this Naked Mile without me!
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Dwight Stifler : So, are you ladies ready to run this Naked Mile and get extra fuckin' sexy?
Jill : Hell yeah!
Dwight Stifler : What about you guys?
Brandy : Yeah, what are you guys doing still dressed?
Erik Stifler : Well, we figured we would just watch the mile then meet you guys at the party afterwards.
Alexis : Well, that's too bad because this Naked Mile is going to be crazy!
Jill : Really crazy! Right Brandy?
Brandy : Absolutely out of control!
Brandy : [Brandy, Jill, and Alexis take off all of their clothes, then Erik, Cooze, and Ryan take off all of their clothes]
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Dwight Stifler : That's what I'm talking about! Let those cocks free!
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Bull : Stifler! We got a serious problem, man. Mike and the guys just got arrested trying to steal a monkey from the zoo.
Dwight Stifler : So what's the problem? Just take the money from my bail fund.
Bull : They're almost half of our football team. We gotta put a team on the field, man, or we are done.
Erik Stifler : Why?
Bull : Cause we are already on probation. We got to participate in every intermural event or we are kicked off campus, man. We are four guys short.
Ryan : I play football.
Cooze : I played freshman year.
Bull : What about you?
Erik Stifler : A little nerf here and there.
Bull : Good enough.
Bull : Stifler?
Dwight Stifler : Mmm?
Bull : Can you play?
Dwight Stifler : Don't ever ask if Stifler can play!
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Dwight Stifler : What a douchebag!
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Dwight Stifler : How you feeling that strech? A little dizzy? Cause guess what? Stifler can drink this shit ALL day long.
[takes a shot]
Drinking Contestant : [security guard comes in and puts $200 bet on Stifler]
[takes a shot]
Drinking Contestant : yeaaahhh!
Dwight Stifler : [takes his shot] You got steel nuts my man, I'll give you that, but you no match for the stif-man.
[burps in the contestants face and he pukes]
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Dwight Stifler : Hey, cousin. How are you?
Erik Stifler : I'm fine, Dwight. Are you ok?
Dwight Stifler : Yeah, I'm great. Hey, I heard you killed Grandma with your cumshot.
[Ryan and Cooze chuckling]
Dwight Stifler : That sucks, man.
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Dwight Stifler : [1:06:33] All right bitch tits. I got a little surprise for you fuckers! Just a little pharmaceutical delight for later.
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Dwight Stifler : I'm adrift in a sea of boobies and my balls are scraping on the pavement!
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Dwight Stifler : [1:00:54] What is this? Enter the Midget?
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Rock : [41;23] How are you feelin', Stifler?
Dwight Stifler : Beyond six months, Frodo, how about you?
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Ryan : [46:10] I can't believe we lost to midgets.
Dwight Stifler : Don't let those oompa-loompa bastards get to you. Right now we have more important matters to tend to, gentlemen!
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Dwight Stifler : [1:04:05] Did you really think that little beating you gave me could keep me away? You and the lollipop guild punch like a bunch of five year olds. This is MY fuckin' school!
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Dwight Stifler : [38:10] Better get back to Oz before you get your ass stomped, Toto.
Rock : Toto was the dog, you fucking idiot!