- Theodore Seville: [Simon and Theodore thrown popcorn on a man in the movie theater to ruin his date at the behest of Alvin. Unfortunately, that man is Dave] Dave!
- Simon Seville: [Alvin pulls them behind the seats before they can get Dave's attention] Alvin, why didn't you tell us?
- Alvin Seville: Would you have helped me?
- Simon Seville, Theodore Seville: NO!
- Alvin Seville: I rest my case.
- Simon Seville: Behold, my Teleghost Transmitter.
- Theodore Seville: Oh.
- [astonished]
- Theodore Seville: Oh!
- Simon Seville: [trying to reach the ghost] Come in. Come in, please.
- Voice on Radio: Hello? Hello?
- Theodore Seville: The ghost!
- Simon Seville: Hello out there. Please, tell us, what do you want?
- Voice on Radio: Well, I sure could go for a king size lemonade and a submarine sandwich 'bout now.
- Theodore Seville: I told you he was hungry.
- Simon Seville: [suspiciously] Who is this anyway?
- Voice on Radio: Why, this here is Jim Bob Briggs out of Waco, Texas.
- Simon Seville: SIGN OFF, JIM BOB. We're expecting a very important call.
- [Teleghost Transmitter blows up]
- Theodore Seville: [after seeing Alvin being so sweet to Miss Stone] Is Alvin doing that bad in math?
- Simon Seville: I'm afraid it goes deeper than that, Theodore. I think Alvin has a crush on our teacher.
- Alvin Seville: It's true. I've found the girl, uh, *woman* of my dreams. No more immature schoolgirls for me. Miss Stone and I are launching into a beautiful relationship.
- Simon Seville: [to Theodore] I imagine it's news to her.
- David 'Dave' Seville: [lifts Alvin's bike out of Miss Stone's car] Here we go.
- David 'Dave' Seville: [Dave and Miss Stone gaze at one another] Alvin, your, uh, toys are all over the living room again.
- Alvin Seville: [embarrassed] My *toys*? They must be Theodore's.
- David 'Dave' Seville: [trying to get rid of Alvin] ALVIN.
- Alvin Seville: I'll, uh, just be a minute Miss Stone.
- [walks away]
- Alvin Seville: TOYS. How embarrassing.
- [Alvin overhears Dave and Miss Stone talking]
- Miss Stone: A movie? That sounds wonderful, David.
- Alvin Seville: First he HUMILIATES me. Then he steals my woman. Well I'm not gonna take this lying down.
- Alvin Seville: [to Simon and Theodore] So you're gonna help me get Miss Stone back.
- Theodore Seville: Get her back? From who?
- Alvin Seville: That's not important, Theodore.
- Simon Seville: Alvin, I don't think Miss Stone was yours to begin with.
- Alvin Seville: Oh REALLY, Simon? I wonder if Dave knows who ruined his shirts with a certain automatic iron invention.
- Simon Seville: You wouldn't.
- Alvin Seville: Oh yeah?
- Simon Seville: Okay, what do you want us to do?
- Alvin Seville: Help me make Miss Stone regret the day she met this two-timing Casanova.
- Alvin Seville: [thinking he ruined Dave's date with Miss Stone] How was your evening, Dave?
- David 'Dave' Seville: The best.
- Alvin Seville: The best? What do you mean?
- David 'Dave' Seville: Well, we got off to a slow start, but later, Linda and I really hit it off.
- Alvin Seville: Linda? You're on a first name basis?
- Simon Seville: [running to Dave thinking they ruined his date] We're sorry, Dave.
- Theodore Seville: Can you ever forgive us?
- David 'Dave' Seville: What for, fellas?
- Alvin Seville: Dave had a GREAT time on his date with LINDA last night.
- Simon Seville, Theodore Seville: You did?
- David 'Dave' Seville: Yeah. In fact, we're going out again tomorrow night.
- Simon Seville, Theodore Seville: You are?
- Alvin Seville: [to himself, angrily] Then it's time to show Miss Stone who the best man really is.
- Alvin Seville: Miss Stone.
- Miss Stone: Yes, Alvin?
- Alvin Seville: I know this is last minute, but how 'bout going out with me tonight?
- Miss Stone: I'm very flattered, Alvin, but I'm afraid you're a little young for me.
- Alvin Seville: But I'm gonna be 9 next week.
- Alvin Seville: Dave, could you bend down a minute?
- [Dave bends down and Alvin slaps him with a glove]
- David 'Dave' Seville: WHAT WAS THAT ALL ABOUT?
- Simon Seville: I believe Alvin just challenged you to a duel.
- Theodore Seville: To see who wins the hand of the fair Miss Stone.
- David 'Dave' Seville: What?
- [calls Alvin back]
- David 'Dave' Seville: Alvin! Alvin! ALVIN!
- Alvin Seville: Yes, David?
- David 'Dave' Seville: Forget this duel nonsense. You're just a child.
- Alvin Seville: Fine. Simon, please tell that adult over there that this child is packing his meager belongings and moving to the orphanage.
- David 'Dave' Seville: Okay, Alvin, I accept you're challenge. But *I* choose the weapons.
- Alvin Seville: I'm giving up on older women. They're too much trouble.
- [the doorbell rings and Simon answers the door]
- Theodore Seville: Hi.
- Simon Seville: [yells upstairs to Dave] Dave, the babysitter's here!
- David 'Dave' Seville: [to the babysitter] Right on time, Sandy.
- Alvin Seville: [Alvin immediately falls for her] Sandy, a lovely name for a lovely woman.
- [leading her into the living room]
- Alvin Seville: And please, call me Alvin.
- David 'Dave' Seville: Well, we couldn't expect him to quit cold turkey, could we?