- Janitor: Can I get some new work boots?
- Nurse Carla Espinosa: No.
- Janitor: [Janitor sticks his foot in the door before Carla can close it] Guess the old ones still work. I do have more requests though. I need an anvil, some barbed wire, and a bow and arrow.
- Nurse Carla Espinosa: No.
- Janitor: Hm. How about a sled dog?
- Nurse Carla Espinosa: No.
- Janitor: Cowboy hat?
- Nurse Carla Espinosa: No.
- Janitor: Ferris wheel?
- Nurse Carla Espinosa: No.
- Janitor: Stun gun?
- Nurse Carla Espinosa: No.
- Janitor: Pelican?
- Nurse Carla Espinosa: No!
- Leslie: When do you turn nice? This is getting kind of old.
- Dr. Perry Cox: Never, Leslie.
- Leslie: He knows my name!
- Dr. Perry Cox: I was just calling you by a random girl's name. Listen please, I don't care about any of your problems. I have no answers for any of you.
- Gloria: But my boyfriend's bi-curious, and he wants me to pick his lovers.
- Dr. Perry Cox: I may have answer for that: eww!
- Nurse Carla Espinosa: Dr Kelso, we need to talk.
- Dr. Bob Kelso: Baxter was a good dog. You never think you're gonna miss animals as much as you do. It was just nice having some creature in my life who never disappointed me, never judged me, never showed up late at my 50th birthday party with freshly pierced nipples and a barely legal Filipino boy named Pogo... my son Harrison...
- Nurse Carla Espinosa: I figured...
- Dr. Bob Kelso: Man's best friend, huh? They got that one right...
- Nurse Carla Espinosa: At least you stopped crying...
- Dr. Bob Kelso: No, not really; my body can't produce tears anymore because I've intentionally dehydrated myself. It's a risky move, I know, but Dr Jarvis here said it'll be all right.
- Nurse Carla Espinosa: There's nobody standing behind you...
- Dr. Bob Kelso: ...I'm going to need an IV.
- Janitor: [Janitor, Todd, Laverne, and Ted are all mad at Carla and ominous music plays as the walk by] Guys, we're supposed to be giving the evil eye here and I'm the only one doing it. Ted you're giving sad eye!
- Ted: It's all I've got!
- Janitor: Now try it again.
- [they all stare with "evil eye"]
- Janitor: That's better. Todd, great commitment.
- Todd: I just thought about flat boobies and it made me mad.