- Crow T. Robot: [Joel and Crow shout in horror as Tom explodes in the theater] IT'S ALL OVER THE SEAT!
- Joel Robinson: Gotta get him outta here! Come on, Crow!
- Joel Robinson: [Joel emerges from the theater carrying Tom, who's head has apparently exploded] TOM SERVO! OH MY GOD! TOM SERVO'S DEAD! He's dying! It must've been that movie! Oh man! We're losing him!
- Crow T. Robot: [on Shatner mode] A robot watches a bad film. It renders him unconscious. Next--on-- "Emergency 9-1-1"
- [gets slapped in the beak by Joel]
- Joel Robinson: Crow, ya gotta snap outta Shatner and help me! It means the life of our friend, Tom Servo!
- Crow T. Robot: [still acting like Shatner] But I must finish Tek-Wars of Venusia... must direct Star Trek 9: The Search For Spock's Intelligence!
- [Breaking character]
- Crow T. Robot: Hooker's a good cop! Whoa! He's a good--
- [gets slapped in the chin again]
- Joel Robinson: Crow, you listen to me and you listen good! I need ya to snap out of Shatner! I need you here now! Our friend's life hangs in the balance!
- Crow T. Robot: [sobbing] I'm sorry Joel, I didn't know...
- Joel Robinson: [hugs crow] I know, man, I know... but we gotta get our little buddy out of the bone orchard, okay? Listen, I need you to run along, get the defibulator, and I'm gonna try to get our brother Tommy out of the badlands...
- Crow T. Robot: Okay, alright...
- Joel Robinson: [to Tom] C'mon, man, come on back, we're all pulling for ya, buddy...
- Crow T. Robot: Hey Joel, is the defibulator the thing that looks like the vacuum cleaner or the thing that looks like the battery charger?
- Joel Robinson: It's the thing that looks like the battery charger! Now, would you get it together, man, and get out here, it means Tom Servo's life!
- [Crow arrives with the defibulator]
- Joel Robinson: Okay, hold on, buddy, it's coming!
- [Grabs the two probes from the defibulator]
- Joel Robinson: Come on home, Tom! Come on back, buddy! CLEAR!
- Crow T. Robot: Clear, clear...
- [Joel applies the probes to Tom's chest. Zap. He listens for a heartbeat]
- Joel Robinson: Nothing! CLEAR!
- Crow T. Robot: Clear, clear...
- [Joel zaps him again. He listens for a heartbeat]
- Joel Robinson: He's coming back! He's coming back!
- [Tom starts coughing and shaking]
- Crow T. Robot: Come on, Tommy!
- Tom Servo: [acting like Harey Carey] Sean Duncan up to the plate now... beautiful day here at Wrigley Field, boy, lemme tell ya! Perfect for an ice cold Budweiser! And you know, Lincoln Carpeting...
- [Tom shakes his head]
- Tom Servo: Joel! Crow! What the heck happened to me?
- Joel Robinson: It's okay, buddy, you're among the living now.
- Tom Servo: Whoa! That was weird. I was walking down a long hallway and at the end of it, there was a bright light and a kind man with a beard reaching his hand out to me, beckoning me, and he looked at me as I got closer and he said..."Hey Buddy, can ya spare some change, I want a cup of coffee!" Ha-ha!
- [Tom starts laughing; Joel and Crow are appalled]
- Joel Robinson: Oh, everything's a joke to you, that's great. We got commercial sign.
- Crow T. Robot: [annoyed] We shoulda let you die.
- Tom Servo: Ah, life!
- Gypsy: Well, that was fun, but if I could get a little serious for a moment. Well, I was wondering where we'd be without our boys and girls in shiny red pleather. It makes me proud to know that they're out there, somewhere...
- [singing]
- Gypsy: What can you see, Flying some mystic seas, Fighting for you and me, Captain Joe and the Gang When they pass by, Fitter than pumpkin pie, Steppin' in liquid dye, Time in the blue,