- Edith Justice: Of course, Mr. Religion here wasn't seein' eye to eye with the sermon.
- Archie Justice: What sermon? That was socialist propaganda, pure and simple. And don't give me that look, you didn't think it was so hot neither.
- Edith Justice: I said it was different, that's all, but I didn't curse the Reverend Felcher from right there in the front pew.
- Richard 'Dickie': That's all you care about is what you got and how you can keep it.
- Archie Justice: Well I wanna tell you, sonny boy. You'd care about them things too if you had anything, if you wasn't livin' off of me. You, you ain't got a pot to peel a potater in.
- Edith Justice: Richard, that's no way to talk on the sabbath.
- Archie Justice: Stifle, Edith.
- Edith Justice: And no way yo talk to your father-in-law.
- Archie Justice: Edith, I asked you to stifle.
- Edith Justice: Sunday is a day of peace and rest.
- Archie Justice: Stifle, Edith.
- Edith Justice: And eat a nice brunch.
- Archie Justice: I'm askin' you to stifle.
- Edith Justice: We're all hungry.
- Archie Justice: Will you stifle yourself!
- Archie Justice: Did you know that we have two atheists under this roof?
- Edith Justice: Yeah I know, but maybe if we had a little something to eat.
- Archie Justice: Oh will you stifle yourself, you silly dingbat.
- Edith Justice: Oh you can't talk without swearin'. No, everything you say is G.D. that or G. D. this.
- Archie Justice: You call that swearin'? Is that what you call swearin'? The first word is God. I suppose that's a swear word, huh? The second word is damn. That's a very good word. The river is damned to prevent it from floodin', right? And in the Bible, you read where so-and-so is damned for cheatin' or stealin' or committin' insects in the family. And who damned them? God damned them, that's who.
- Edith Justice: Oh yeah, that's a good idea, let Dickie help. The last time I seen him raisin' his hand around here, he was testin' his deodorant.
- Lionel Jefferson: Goin' to school is not easy, you know. It's hard work.
- Edith Justice: For you, it's like buildin'; the pyramids. I don't call studyin' sociology, learnin' to be a welfare worker, no hard work
- Richard 'Dickie': I think it's wonderful that Dickie wants to help the underprivileged.
- Edith Justice: Listen, if he wants to help the underprivileged, let him start with himself. He's got no brains and he's got no ambition, and if that ain't underprivileged, I don't know what is.
- Richard 'Dickie': That's it. Mother, we're moving out of here. I don't care what happens to me, but I'm not staying here another minute to hear my husband insulted like that.
- Archie Justice: Archie, say you're sorry. If she leaves here, she'll be dead inside a year.
- Archie Justice: Dr. Goldstein says she's anemic.
- Edith Justice: Ah, don't gimme that, will ya. Some of these doctors, you hand them 25 dollars, they tell you anything you wanna hear.
- Archie Justice: He's the best in the business when it comes to blood. My own cousin from the hospital said so.
- Edith Justice: You own cousin from the hospital empties bedpans. Don't make him out no specialist. Anyway, I heard what Dr. Feinstein...
- Edith Justice: Goldstein
- Archie Justice: Goldstein, Feinstein, it all comes to the same thing and I know that tribe.
- Richard 'Dickie': Implying the blacks are even lazier?
- Archie Justice: Hold it Meathead, hold it there. I didn't say that, you said that. I never said your black beauties was lazy. Just that their systems is geared a little slower than ours.
- Archie Justice: It so happens there's a black guy that works down at the building with me, and he's got a bumper sticker on his car that says "Black is Beautiful". So, what's the matter with black beauties, huh?
- Edith Justice: It's nicer than when he called them coons.
- Archie Justice: My father, yeah, David. My father's name is David.
- Richard 'Dickie': And you mother's name was Sarah, huh?
- Archie Justice: Sarah, that's right. My mother's name is Sarah. So what?
- Lionel Jefferson: David and Sarah, two Jewish names.
- Archie Justice: David and Sarah, two names right out of the Bible, which has got nothin' to do with the Jews.
- Archie Justice: Lionel, I ain't Jewish.
- Edith Justice: I didn't know you was Jewish.
- Archie Justice: What the hell are you talkin' about! You of all people should know I ain't Jewish.
- Edith Justice: You are talkin' with your hands.