Two and a Half Men (TV Series)

The Price of Healthy Gums Is Eternal Vigilance (2004)

Charlie Sheen: Charlie Harper

Photos 

Quotes 

• [last lines] 

  Charlie Harper : Well, remember how you were a bed-wetter 'til you were eight?

  Alan Harper : Yeah.

  Charlie Harper : You actually stopped at six.

  Alan Harper : What? What-what did you do? Did you sneak into my room, and-and-and-and pour warm water on me while I was asleep?

  Charlie Harper : Yeah, okay. Let's say it was water, and let's say I poured it.

  [Alan's jaw drops] 

  Charlie Harper : Well, I feel better. How 'bout you?

• Charlie Harper : [from the bathroom after he locks himself in]  There is no Bad Alan. I'm the one who stole the Silly-Putty and put it in your pocket when you weren't looking. 3, 4, 5, 6, 7...

  Alan Harper : [starts pounding on the door, shouting]  *Damn you to hell! Come out here and die like a man!*

  Charlie Harper : What do ya know? There is a Bad Alan.

• Alan Harper : [Charlie's preparing Alka-Seltzer]  You, too?

  Charlie Harper : Yeah. Apparently, Mom wasn't the only parasite at dinner tonight.

• Charlie Harper : Twenty-five years ago, I put Silly-Putty in my brother's pants.