The Vicar of Dibley (TV Series)

The Easter Bunny (1996)

Liz Smith: Letitia Cropley

Photos 

Quotes 

• Letitia Cropley : Oh, that just reminds me. As it's Shrove Tuesday, I've made you these Pancakes from all my leftovers.

  Hugo Horton : Hot diggety dog, Mrs C!

  Letitia Cropley : [Setting down two plates of pancakes]  Now, these ones are lard and fish paste, and these are the plain ones.

  [Everyone makes a dive for the plain ones] 

  Letitia Cropley : With just a hint of liver.

  [Everyone freezes] 

• David Horton : Item 6, then.

  Geraldine Granger : [Clears her throat]  Yes. As I was saying, since it's Ash Wednesday tomorrow, I thought perhaps we could all try to give something up for Lent?

  Letitia Cropley : Like bondage, you mean?

  Geraldine Granger : Er... possibly, yes.

  [Produces a wooden collection box labelled 'LENT FINES'] 

  Geraldine Granger : And then every time we fail, we have to put a pound in this box. Like you for instance, Newitt. You *could* try to give up swearing, couldn't you?

  Owen Newitt : I *don't* swear.

  Jim Trott : No no no no... yes you do!

  Owen Newitt : I bloody do not!

  Geraldine Granger , Hugo Horton : [Pointing]  In the box, in the box!

  Owen Newitt : 'Bloody's not swearing.

  Hugo Horton : I'm afraid it is.

  Owen Newitt : Bloody, bloody isn't.

  [Geraldine and Hugo nod] 

  Owen Newitt : Bollocks. Now that *is* swearing. And 'arse'. But 'bloody's just 'bloody'. It's a useful adjective, with biblical overtones.

  [Geraldine pointedly places the box in front of him. Resigned, he stands up and points at Mrs Cropley] 

  Owen Newitt : Well, she can give up cooking garbage then - I've eaten tastier slurry than this!

  [Takes a note from his wallet and adds it to the box] 

• Letitia Cropley : Excuse me. Mr Chairman, if I could just butt in a moment.

  David Horton : [Warmly]  Of course, Letitia - you butt in to your heart's content, my little beauty!

  Letitia Cropley : I just wondered if anyone would like to try my homemade orange juice.

  [Brings out a tray with glasses of juice] 

  Geraldine Granger : [Rubbing her hands]  Aha! What's in it, Mrs C?

  Letitia Cropley : Orange juice.

  Geraldine Granger : Yes, but anything else? No yeast, no balsamic vinegar? No urine?

  Letitia Cropley : No.

• Letitia Cropley : Care to try one, Mr. Chairman?

  David Horton : No thank you. I'd sooner eat my own scrotum, Mrs. Cropley.

• Letitia Cropley : I've got a memory like an elephant... that's lost its memory.

• Letitia Cropley : You will be honest with me, won't you. I know I can trust you.

  Geraldine Granger : You can trust me, yes.

  Letitia Cropley : My cooking, was I a great experimenter, a pioneer, whose rich command of unorthodox mixtures will be the stuff of legend in the new millennium, or was my food just ghastly? You can tell a dying woman the truth, Vicar.

  Geraldine Granger : Very well. You are one of the greats. Mrs. Beeton, Delia Smith, Letitia Cropley. That's the trinity.

  Letitia Cropley : I thought so.