The Vicar of Dibley (TV Series)

The Easter Bunny (1996)

John Bluthal: Frank Pickle

Quotes 

• David Horton : Right, we'll start. I declare open this meeting of the Parish Council, 3 March 1996...

  [Notices that Frank is just twiddling his thumbs] 

  David Horton : Frank, are you getting this down?

  Frank Pickle : Don't worry, I'll just knock off something at the end. No one reads the minutes anyway.

• [the villagers are trying to decide what to give up for Lent] 

  David Horton : Right. And might I venture that Frank can give up being such a pedantic old fart with the minutes?

  Frank Pickle : Good suggestion. Should I actually put 'fart', or 'F-asterisk-asterisk-T'?

• Geraldine Granger : What about you, David? Perhaps you could be a little bit more friendly to everyone.

  Hugo Horton : Yes, father. Everyone's fed up to the back teeth with you shouting at them all the time like... some great... big bald... shouty type person.

  [David glares at him] 

  Hugo Horton : Except for me, of course!

  Frank Pickle : He's got a point, Sir.

  David Horton : [Stiffly]  Very well, easy-peasy! Although I'd quite like to know where all this money is actually going to.

  Geraldine Granger : Well, I thought we could start a neighbourhood video club. You know, on Friday nights in the hall, for people who haven't got a video of their own.

  Jim Trott : I've got a video, but it doesn't work. I plugged it in, switched it on and nothing.

  Frank Pickle : I didn't know you even had a TV.

  Jim Trott : No, I haven't. I... I-I plugged the video into the radio instead.

• Frank Pickle : Ah, you didn't know her if you didn't know her when she was young.

  Geraldine Granger : What was she like, young?

  Jim Trott : No, no, no, no, Rampant!

  Geraldine Granger : Really?

  Jim Trott : Oh yes. She was a lovely-looking girl. Red hair right down to her waist, eyes so bright, they sparkled in the dark, and a French kiss that would suck the tongue out of your mouth like an industrial vacuum.