- Angie Lopez: When I was growing up, my mom had a Christmas tree in every room and each one had its own theme.
- George Lopez: We were poor, on Christmas Eve night I'd sneak into the living room and hang my sock by the fire.
- Angie Lopez: Aw.
- George Lopez: Then my shirt and underwear because we didn't have a dryer.
- Angie Lopez: [flashback] We should do something special, this is Carmen's first Christmas.
- George Lopez: She's not going to remember any of this, Angie, she's 3 months old, she hasn't even smiled yet!
- George Lopez: What does he mean they're closing? It's only 6 o' clock.
- Ernie: Dude, it's Christmas Eve, everyone's going home to be with their families.
- George Lopez: Mom, what're you doing here? You're supposed to be at the casino.
- Benny: Oh they threw me out. Turns out Tony Orlando doesn't like having women's panties thrown at him.
- George Lopez: You went to a Tony Orlando concert?
- Benny: No, he was playing blackjack.
- George Lopez: [in George's stop motion Christmas fantasy] Will you be my friend?
- Benny: Oh I can't, I've got a date with the fat jolly guy in the red suit who likes to bounce me on his lap.
- George Lopez: But Santa's out delivering toys.
- Benny: Who said anything about Santa?
- [slides down the snow hill]
- Benny: Whee!
- Angie Lopez: [flashback of Carmen's first Christmas] Does Christmas mean anything to you?
- George Lopez: Yep, overtime at the factory, which is why I put in for a second shift.
- Angie Lopez: YOU'RE WORKING ON CHRISTMAS?
- [Carmen cries, Angie tries to calm her, doesn't work]
- George Lopez: Let me try.
- [holds Carmen]
- Angie Lopez: This isn't how Christmas is supposed to be! We shouldn't be fighting, the baby shouldn't be crying!
- George Lopez: Angie.
- Angie Lopez: You're supposed to WANT to spend time with your family.
- George Lopez: Angie, look at this, she's smiling.
- Angie Lopez: Her first smile!
- George Lopez: It's the lights on the tree. Either that or it's gas.
- [sniffs]
- George Lopez: Nope, it's the lights. I'm going to call into work and get out of my shift, I want to be with my family for Christmas.
- Carmen Lopez: Oh my God, it's Grandma's death certificate. Dad killed Grandma and now he's drunk celebrating!
- George Lopez: No, I was going to use it to get a cheaper flight to Miami.