Blackadder Goes Forth (TV Series)
Captain Cook (1989)
Hugh Laurie: Lieutenant The Honourable George Colthurst St. Barleigh
Photos
Quotes
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Lieutenant George : Great Scott sir, you mean, you mean the moment's finally arrived for us to give Harry Hun a darned good British style thrashing, six of the best, trousers down?
Captain Blackadder : If you mean, "Are we all going to get killed?" Yes. Clearly, Field Marshal Haig is about to make yet another gargantuan effort to move his drinks cabinet six inches closer to Berlin.
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Lieutenant George : Tally-ho pip-pip and Bernard's your uncle.
Captain Blackadder : In English we say, "Good Morning."
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Lieutenant George : Oh, sir, if we should happen to tread on a mine, what do we do?
Captain Blackadder : Well, normal procedure, Lieutenant, is to jump up 200 feet into the air and scatter yourself over a wide area.
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General Melchett , Lieutenant George : Row, row, row your boat / Gently down the stream / Belts off, trousers down / Isn't life a scream? / Whoa!
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Lieutenant George : Look what I got for you sir.
Captain Blackadder : What?
Lieutenant George : It's the latest issue of "King & Country". Oh, damn inspiring stuff; the magazine that tells the Tommies the truth about the war.
Captain Blackadder : Or alternatively, the greatest work of fiction since vows of fidelity were included in the French marriage service.
Lieutenant George : Come, come, sir, now. You can't deny that this fine newspaper is good for the morale of the men.
Captain Blackadder : Certainly not, I just think that more could be achieved by giving them some real toilet-paper.
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Captain Blackadder : Hmm, do you know what this is, Lieutenant?
Lieutenant George : It's a good old service revolver.
Captain Blackadder : Wrong. It's a brand new service revolver, which I've suspiciously been sent without asking for it. I smell something fishy, and I'm not talking about the contents of Baldrick's apple crumble.
Lieutenant George : That's funny sir, because we didn't order those new trench-climbing ladders either.
Captain Blackadder : New ladders?
Lieutenant George : Yes, came yesterday. I issued them to the men, and they were absolutely thrilled.
[calls to Baldrick]
Lieutenant George : Isn't that right men?
Private Baldrick : Yes sir, first solid fuel we've had since we burned the cat.
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Lieutenant George : Permission to shout "Bravo" at an annoyingly loud volume, sir.
General Melchett : Permission granted.
Lieutenant George : [screams] Bravo!
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[George is asked why he didn't reveal his ability at painting before]
Lieutenant George : I don't like blowing my own trumpet.
Captain Blackadder : You might at least told us you had a trumpet.
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Lieutenant George : Oh sir, just one thing. If we should happen to tread on a mine, what do we do?
Captain Blackadder : Well, normal procedure, Lieutenant, is to jump 200 feet into the air and scatter yourself over a wide area.
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Captain Blackadder : All right, total and utter quiet, do you understand? So for instance if any of us crawl over any barbed wire they must on no account goaaAAAAAAAAAAHH!
Private Baldrick : Have you just crawled over some barbed wire sir?
Captain Blackadder : No Baldrick, I just put my elbow in a blob of ice cream.
Private Baldrick : Oh, that's all right then.
Captain Blackadder : Now, where the hell are we?
Lieutenant George : Well, it's difficult to say, we appear to have crawled into an area marked with mushrooms.
Captain Blackadder : [patiently] What do those symbols denote?
Lieutenant George : Pfff. That we're in a field of mushrooms?
Captain Blackadder : Lieutenant, that is a military map, it is unlikely to list interesting flora and fungi. Look at the key and you'll discover that those mushrooms aren't for picking.
Lieutenant George : Good Lord, you're quite right sir, it says "mine". So, these mushrooms must belong to the man who made the map.
Captain Blackadder : Either that, or we're in the middle of a mine-field.
Private Baldrick : Oh dear.
Lieutenant George : So, he owns the field as well?