Scrubs (TV Series)
My Way Home (2006)
John C. McGinley: Dr. Perry Cox
Quotes
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Dr. Cox : Your endocrinology fellowship lasted all of five days. Granted, to you five days may seem like an eternity as it's roughly five times as long as any of your pasty relationships have lasted. But trust me, that hardly makes you an expert.
Elliot : Oh really? Because you never went to assface school, but you seem to be an expert at that. Am I right?
J.D. : [didn't hear conversation, but high-fives Elliot] Here's some!
Dr. Cox : You're going to high five THAT? Bi-hig mistake.
J.D. : I didn't know what I was high-fiving. I gotta stop doing that.
Elliot : Did you eat my mango body butter?
J.D. : No.
[thinking]
J.D. : I smeared it on a bagel.
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J.D. : [to Keith] Why would you page me?
Dr. Cox : Because I told him to, and I know what you're thinking Dorothy, why would I have your intern call you in on one of your very precious days off for something so gosh darn trivial. But the real question ought to be: why when YOU were an intern did you call me in time, after time, after time, after time. So now, to commemorate the first of many unnecessary disruptions of your life, I've invited Laverne's church choir here to summarize my feelings in exuberant song.
Choir : [sung] Payback is a bitch!
Nurse Roberts : [sung] Mm-hmm!
Choir : [sung] Payback is a bitch!
Nurse Roberts : [sung] Ohhhhhh, yeah... ..
Choir : [sung] Payback is a bitch!
Nurse Roberts : [sung] Ye-eah...
Choir : [sung] Payback is a bitch! Oh-oh-oooooh......
Nurse Roberts : [sung] It's just the beginning! But it's payback! Oh, it's payback!
Choir : [sung] Payback is a bitch!
Nurse Roberts : [sung] Pay-back!
Choir : [sung] Payback is a bitch!
Nurse Roberts : [sung] Pay-back!
Choir : [sung] Payback is a bitch!
Nurse Roberts : [sung] Oh, lord!
Choir : [sung] Payback is a bitch!
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Dr. Bob Kelso : Dr Reid, out hospital lecture series is tonight and our psychologist, Dr Burk, had to cancel his talk on fear of public speaking.
Elliot : Why, because he's afraid of speaking in public? Yeah...
[chuckles]
Dr. Bob Kelso : No. His depression finally got the best of him and he hung himself... Anyhoo, we need a speaker and Dr Cox suggested you'd be the perfect person for an intensive Q & A on endocrinology. Be in the classroom at six.
[walks away]
Dr. Cox : And Barbie... say, if it's cold in there, you can just borrow my lab coat; it's super warm because I lined it with these... ta-daaa!
[opens his coat, pages of endocrinology text books attached on its intern]
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Dr. Cox : Carla, look at me and Jordan. You know how we hate everyone?
Carla : Yeah.
Dr. Cox : Well, that goes doubly for children. It's true. They're loud, you can't understand them... they're like tiny cab drivers. But, trust me, when you do have your own kid, you won't feel that way.
Carla : Yeah, what--what will be different?
Dr. Cox : He'll be yours.
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Dr. Cox : [to Elliot] There are actually many things in life that I've yet to figure out. Like, why men wear cell phones on their belt when they could so easily fit them in their pocket, mere millimeters away. Or why, and I'm not complaining, women wear tube tops, even though every ten seconds it makes them do this.
[Dr. Cox imitates a woman adjusting a tube top]
Dr. Cox : "Get back in there!" But, of all my endless queries, the one thing I damn sure will figure out and soon is how you keep coming up with all these fancy-pants answers. It is, for all intents and purposes, like they're falling from the sky.
