- Gary Shepherd: What is with people these days? Can't anybody fight the good fight and solve their own problems anymore?
- Melissa Steadman: How can you say that to me?
- Gary Shepherd: You're different. Your problems are epic.
- Melissa Steadman: [sarcastic] Gee, that's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
- Michael Steadman: People around here are such slobs. Elliot's birthday cake, it's all over my desk. It's all over the floor. It's a nightmare. Meanwhile, Elliot and Nancy are really in trouble, I think. They want to see a marriage counselor.
- Melissa Steadman: I kinda suspected as much.
- Michael Steadman: Listen, Nancy might call you to ask if you know anybody. So just, you know, act surprised.
- Melissa Steadman: I know nothing.