- Dr. Henry 'Indiana' Jones, Jr.: [about his favorite soap opera] I've got to find out if Ralph is Maud's lover, or her twin brother in disguise...
- Dr. Henry 'Indiana' Jones, Jr.: Now there are times when life is just like theater. You know where I learned that?
- Dr. Henry 'Indiana' Jones, Jr.: [she shakes her head] In Ireland.
- Indy's daughter: Oh, dad, we've got to go.
- Dr. Henry 'Indiana' Jones, Jr.: No, no, no wait, I'm just getting started.
- Dr. Henry 'Indiana' Jones, Jr.: Now, I was on my way to London with my friend Remy. We were gonna join the Belgian army, you see. Now a boat took us to Queenstown and we landed there. It was April, just a little before Easter, 1916.
- Indiana Jones: [taking in the Irish countryside] This is certainly more colorful than Mexico.
- Remy: That's for sure!
- Maggie Lemass: How many countries have you visited?
- Indiana Jones: Well, most of Europe, then Africa, India, China...
- Nuala: Isn't that where all the little boys wear pigtails?
- Indiana Jones: Well, not just the boys, the men too.
- Maggie Lemass: [the girls giggle] Holy Mary!
- Sean O'Casey: Political! Legendary! Hairy fairy old bollocks!
- Indiana Jones: He said he like your play.
- Sean O'Casey: He did not! He said it was challenging. Challenging! That's only one step up from interesting. The last bloody thing any writer wants to hear.
- Sean O'Casey: When a play is good it changes ya. Changes the way you look at things, changes the way you think.
- Remy: How can they hope to win?
- Sean O'Casey: They're not looking to win. What they are looking for is a glorious defeat.
- Remy: Then they are insane.
- Sean O'Casey: Are they? Ireland's always needed their martyrs. A blood sacrifice, that's what they're after.
- Sean O'Casey: It's a bosses war you're fighting. You're going to be killed in the name of capitalist gain.
- Indiana Jones: We'll try not to.
- Sean O'Casey: Ah, the hell with ye! Good luck.
- Sean O'Casey: Will you be comin' back?
- Indiana Jones: I hope so.
- Sean O'Casey: Better take a good look then. Because you'll never recognize her. The old Ireland's changed.
- Dr. Henry 'Indiana' Jones, Jr.: He was right. Old Ireland was never the same again. But Sean Lemass was not shot, no sir, he survived and went on to become prime minister of Ireland.
- Dr. Henry 'Indiana' Jones, Jr.: Well, what about my show?
- Indy's daughter: It finished ages ago.
- Dr. Henry 'Indiana' Jones, Jr.: Finished? Oh, damnation, why didn't you stop me?
- Indy's daughter: No one's ever been able to do that, dad.