- President Josiah Bartlet: [the President is telling an unenthusiastic Josh about National Parks] Shenandoah National Park. Right here in Virginia. We should organize a staff field trip to Shenandoah. I can even act as the guide. What do you think?
- Josh Lyman: [audibly but under his breath] Good a place as any to dump your body.
- President Josiah Bartlet: What was that?
- Josh Lyman: Did I say that out loud?
- President Josiah Bartlet: See? And I was going to let you go home.
- Josh Lyman: But instead?
- President Josiah Bartlet: We're going to talk about Yosemite.
- Mandy Hampton: You guys are idiots, did you know that?
- C.J. Cregg: In our own defense, we actually do know that.
- Danny Concannon: [asking C.J. out] I enjoy movies, I enjoy music, I'm not wild about ice-skating, but what the hell, I'll do it.
- Charlie Young: Sam, tomorrow is the Assistant Transportation Secretary's 50th birthday and Leo wants you to write a message from the President.
- Sam Seaborn: He wants me?
- Charlie Young: Yeah.
- Sam Seaborn: He wants me to write a birthday message for the President?
- Charlie Young: Nancy Becker needs it tonight.
- Sam Seaborn: Are you sure he doesn't want someone who, you know, isn't staggeringly overqualified for the job?
- Sam Seaborn: Say, you mind if I skip the coffee? I wanna nail this thing.
- Leo McGarry: Oh, forget it. Your first draft was fine.
- Sam Seaborn: I wanna nail it, Leo
- Mallory O'Brian: Sam, the President was in on it. Your first draft was fine.
- Sam Seaborn: Yeah, but still...
- Mallory O'Brian: You wanna nail it
- Sam Seaborn: I do
- Mallory O'Brian: [to Sam about Leo] You're so exactly like him
- Sam Seaborn: Well, that is the nicest thing you've ever said to me. Thank you.
- Mandy Hampton: Are you listening to me?
- Toby Ziegler: Yes.
- Mandy Hampton: What was the last thing I said?
- Toby Ziegler: The last thing you said was: "Are you listening to me?"
- Mandy Hampton: Would you tell him that signing the bill and, thus, swallowing the bitter pill of strip mining would not foreclose a PR approach that would trumpet banking reforms while at the same time excoriating the special-interest strip-mining scam which, by the way, is what I am happy to call it. Tell him that.
- C.J. Cregg: Toby, Mandy wants you to recommend to the President that we do it her way.
- Toby Ziegler: Did you understand what she said?
- C.J. Cregg: No, but she seemed pretty confident.
- Josh Lyman: I always knew the day would come when Sam would start selling off entire states, I was just hoping he'd start with Delaware.
- Toby Ziegler: It couldn't have gone far, right?
- Sam Seaborn: No.
- Toby Ziegler: Somewhere in this building is our talent.
- Josh Lyman: You're quite a nerd, Mr. President.
- President Josiah Bartlet: Really?
- Josh Lyman: Yes, sir.
- President Josiah Bartlet: I assume that was said with all due respect?
- Josh Lyman: Yes, sir.
- [Sam breaks a date with Mallory McGarry]
- Sam Seaborn: This is something that came up, Mallory.
- Mallory O'Brian: It's his 50th birthday, Sam. They couldn't have seen this coming for, like, the last 50 years?
- C.J. Cregg: First of all: you're wrong. Second of all: shut up. Third: I went to Hoynes with your thing and he said he wasn't the one who talked to you and I believe him and he's really pissed at me and he's right. And fourth:
- [thinks what to say]
- C.J. Cregg: shut up again.
- John Hoynes: What do you need?
- Danny Concannon: The Cabinet meeting.
- John Hoynes: What about it?
- Danny Concannon: Anything you want to talk about?
- John Hoynes: Anything I want to talk about?
- Danny Concannon: Yes, sir.
- John Hoynes: Well, you know, now that you mention it, I've been having this recurring dream about killing you.
- Mandy Hampton: I can put a best face on it, Josh. It's what I do.
- Josh Lyman: You can put a best face on a turnpike collision, Mandy.
- President Josiah Bartlet: [to Mallory] These are some of the things your father did today.
- [Reading]
- President Josiah Bartlet: He met with the director of the C.I.A., and received an intelligence briefing regarding stores of plutonium in a country which, shall we just say is not on our Christmas card list. He brokered a compromise among democrats for funding of something fairly trivial, but I can't remember quite what it was, oh yes, the U.S. Army, yes. He met with chief counsel to discuss the news that it's possible I've broken some federal laws this week and may have to serve from one to three years in prison after resigning my office in disgrace.
- [to Leo]
- President Josiah Bartlet: How'd that go by the way?
- Leo McGarry: We're fine.
- President Josiah Bartlet: Cool. He received a security briefing, a Central American briefing, and wrote a position paper, and he's been counseling me throughout the day of a bad decision I have to make. Oh, and by the way, this was a very light day.
- Mallory O'Brian: Due respect, Mr. President... what's your point?
- President Josiah Bartlet: Uh... that's a perfectly fair question
- Leo McGarry: You know what, sir? I can take it from here.
- President Josiah Bartlet: Okay.
- Leo McGarry: Thank you.
- President Josiah Bartlet: I'm right next door.
- Leo McGarry: Thank you.
- President Josiah Bartlet: [Heads for his office, but stops] Oh, my point is... give your dad a break. He's your father.