Wagon Train (TV Series)
The Greenhorn Story (1959)
Mickey Rooney: Samuel T. Evans
Photos
Quotes
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Samuel T. Evans : Aunt Em, I never realized the human body had two hundred bones until today when I cracked every one of 'em.
Aunt Em : Did you pick any names for the horses, Sam?
Samuel T. Evans : Yeah, I sure did. But none a lady can use.
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Storekeeper : Are you a married man, Mr Evans.
Samuel T. Evans : No, I'm not, I've taken the pledge.
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Storekeeper : This, of course, is a little more dressy, just the thing for those casual card games with the boys. And here you have a concealed pocket for that ace up your sleeve.
Samuel T. Evans : Well, I wasn't planning to live dangerously.
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Samuel T. Evans : We're taking the printing press right along with us. My grandfather took the printing press out to Pennsylvania by covered wagon when that was just a wild country. Now Aunt Em and I plan on taking it to a new frontier.
Major Seth Adams : You know a printing press is pretty heavy to haul on a wagon that distance. Maybe I better have a look at it for you.
Samuel T. Evans : Oh, no, Major, we don't have to take up your time to do that. I called on some experts and they told me what to do with it.
Major Seth Adams : Ah, the experts that have never been West.
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Aunt Em : Oh, Sam, why didn't you leave this at our campsite with the rest of our things?
Samuel T. Evans : Aunt Em, I made eleven trips over there today.
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Samuel T. Evans : Are you afraid of the Major?
Humphrey Pumphret : Yes, I am. He sees through to my essential inferiority.
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Flint McCullough : [Flint rides up on his Apooloosa horse, Stormy Night] Do you need any help, Mr Evans?
Samuel T. Evans : No, thank you. We've come to a perfect understanding. They don't like and I don't like them.
Flint McCullough : That doesn't sound like an understanding, sounds more like an impasse.
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Ronnie Pumphret : His horse bit him.
Samuel T. Evans : Bit him. Did you say it bit him?
[He laughs]
Ronnie Pumphret : Sure. He's sitting in a bucket of water too. That's a terrible place to get bit.
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Humphrey Pumphret : Speaking strictly from an unprejudiced point of view, a girl like Melanie doesn't come along every day, does she?
Samuel T. Evans : No, no, Sir, she doesn't. A girl like Melanie only comes along once in a lifetime.
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Ronnie Pumphret , Samuel T. Evans : You don't know how to put the tongue on the wagon, do you?
Ronnie Pumphret , Humphrey Pumphret : Go bother someone else, Ronnie. Poppa's busy.
Ronnie Pumphret : It's gonna rain. Major Adams says it's gonna start at four o'clock.
Samuel T. Evans : Well, if that's the case, we'd better have someone tell us what to do here with this wagon tongue.
Humphrey Pumphret : If only I could remember about that double tree.
Ronnie Pumphret : The double tree's connected to the double tree hammock to the tongue, and the tongue is connected to the hounds by the free pin and the hounds are connected by the front axle by the...
Samuel T. Evans : The what?
Ronnie Pumphret : Kingpin.
Samuel T. Evans : That's it. That's it. Ronnie, you're wonderful.
Ronnie Pumphret : I snooped.
Humphrey Pumphret : Poppa's clever little boy.
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Samuel T. Evans : Are you sure it's cholera?
Flint McCullough : No, but we've got to have a healthy respect for the systems.
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Flint McCullough : And Sam, don't forget, wagon number 2 to the left.
Samuel T. Evans : I won't forget. How could I forget those scars.
Flint McCullough : See you on the trail. Goodnight, Auntie Em.
Aunt Em : Goodnight. Oh, I'm getting real fond of that boy. If I'd met him 20 years ago, HI HO.
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Aunt Em : And I always thought you had all the self-confidence in the world.
Samuel T. Evans : Well, this frontier life has taken the starch out of me.