WKRP in Cincinnati (TV Series)

Venus Rising (1980)

Frank Bonner: Herb Tarlek

Quotes 

• Herb Tarlek : Hey Bailey, I need to get your advice on something.

  Bailey Quarters : Is it about your suit?

  Herb Tarlek : Nope.

  Bailey Quarters : I'm sorry.

• Herb Tarlek : Did you hear about my job offer?

  Venus Flytrap : No... you got a job offer?

  Herb Tarlek : Oh yeah... television station. Boy, I marched right in to the Big Guy's office, you know, think that maybe he'd try to top it. But he didn't. He just congratulated me, and hugged me, and possibly even kissed me... I don't know. He told me how proud he was of me and said 'I'm gonna give you a BIG going away party."

  Venus Flytrap : Sounds great, Herb.

  Herb Tarlek : Yeah. Except that I wasn't quite honest with the Big Guy.

  Venus Flytrap : You lied about the money?

  Herb Tarlek : No... I lied about the job. There was no offer.

  Venus Flytrap : [dismayed]  Oh, Herb.

  Herb Tarlek : [slams his briefcase shut, upset]  Well hell, I thought maybe I could get a raise! You know? They were ready to offer YOU more money, but all I get out of it is...

  [checks himself] 

  Herb Tarlek : I'm sorry... I'm, I'm sorry. It just didn't work out at all.

  Venus Flytrap : What're you gonna do, Herb?

  Herb Tarlek : [sighs]  I don't know.

  Venus Flytrap : Tell 'em the truth, man.

  Herb Tarlek : Oh no, no sir. Can't do that... everybody'd laugh at me... then they'd know what a real liar I am. No sir, can't do it.

  [turns to leave] 

  Herb Tarlek : You know, the funny part about it is, I... I can't even tell my wife.

  Venus Flytrap : So where you going, man?

  Herb Tarlek : I don't know... home, I guess.