The Vicar of Dibley (TV Series)
The Christmas Lunch Incident (1996)
Carol MacReady: Mrs. Tinker
Quotes
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Geraldine Granger : Now then, just before we start eating, I'd like to tell you a little story.
Alice Tinker , Mary Tinker : Ooh, lovely!
Geraldine Granger : It's about a lovely kind woman, who's a vicar.
Alice Tinker : Ooh, just like you?
Geraldine Granger : Yes. And because she was trying to be kind to her parishioners, she agreed to have three different sets of Christmas Lunch.
Alice Tinker : Oh, that's hilarious!
Geraldine Granger : [laughs] Isn't it, yes? I mean, the first lunch, she was OK. By the second lunch, she was *trying* to manage to get it down. But by the time she got to the third family, she was absolutely *stuffed*!
Mrs. Tinker : Was she?
Geraldine Granger : Yes, she was.
Mrs. Tinker : Was she?
Geraldine Granger : Yes, she was.
Mrs. Tinker : Ah, she was, was she?
Geraldine Granger : YES! She couldn't eat another bite!
Alice Tinker : I bet the thought of one more slice of turkey made her absolutely sick.
Mary Tinker : I bet it made her absolutely sick.
Mrs. Tinker : Did it?
Alice Tinker : I bet it did.
Mrs. Tinker : It did, did it?
Geraldine Granger : Yes, it certainly did. But since the third family was where her absolute best, best friend lived...
Alice Tinker : Oh, like *I'm* your best friend!
Geraldine Granger : Yes! She decided to tell her best friend all about the three meals problem.
Alice Tinker : Oh, good idea.
Geraldine Granger : Yes. Cause she knew her best friend would take pity on her, and say "Hey, you don't have to eat all that food if you don't want to. Just have a cup of tea instead." You know, to help her out.
Alice Tinker : Oh, that's where it's not like me at all!
Mrs. Tinker , Mary Tinker : No.
Geraldine Granger : No?
Alice Tinker : No. Cause if she was my best friend, and we'd cooked a meal for her, like we've cooked this one for you, and it turned out she'd eaten already, I'd just cry and cry. My sister would cry. Look, she's crying already just hearing the story. And I'd probably be scarred psychologically for the rest of my life by this dreadful tale of betrayal and deceit.
[Awkward pause]
Geraldine Granger : [Nods] Right. Well, we'd better... tuck in, then, eh?