The Vicar of Dibley (TV Series)

Election (1994)

Gary Waldhorn: David Horton

Photos 

Quotes 

• [first lines] 

  Frank Pickle : [very slowly]  Mister. Hor-ton. Had. A. Shag. Pile. Car. Pet. Installed.

  David Horton : Frank, I'm not absolutely convinced that this new shorthand is helping.

  Owen Newitt : Sorry I'm late. Sheep exploded. Nasty business.

  Frank Pickle : Would you like a quick recap?

  Owen Newitt : Well, make it quick. The buggers are popping like champagne corks out there.

  Frank Pickle : First we had the apologies, and then the council agreed to give two hundred pounds to the Scots.

  Owen Newitt : What the hell for? I miss ten minutes and you all go mad. Why the hell should we give the Scots money?

  Geraldine Granger : Calm down, Owen. That's the *scouts*, Frank.

  Frank Pickle : Oh, right. We also gave twenty pounds to the Save the Chickens fund.

  David Horton : Moving on.

• Letitia Cropley : We're going to see those lovely dancers in London.

  David Horton : The Royal Ballet?

  Letitia Cropley : No, the Chippendales.

• David Horton : In fact we often say you should write these wonderful memories down, Frank.

  Frank Pickle : Oh, good thought!

  David Horton : ...Instead of telling us. All the damn time.

• Frank Pickle : 'Shaddap you face', that's the one.

  David Horton : [dictating]  The parish clerk requested 'Shut Up Your Face' and the chairman pointed out that if he heard that particular song he would take Frank by the testicles and swing him round his head until his screams were heard in Reykjavik.

• David Horton : Look, Frank. As much as I would *love* to stay here and listen to more of these *riveting* tales, I must go. But before I do, I just want to assure you that if you vote for me, within 6 months, there will be buses running through Dibley twice a week.

  Geraldine Granger : [Nudges David]  Ahem!

  David Horton : Day.

  Geraldine Granger : [Nudges him again]  Ahem!

  David Horton : Hour. I think it's only right.

  Frank Pickle : Oh, that's... that's *very* good news!

  David Horton : Splendid.

• David Horton : What was that socialist tract you were spouting from the pulpit last week?

  Geraldine Granger : I've got a feeling it was the Sermon on the Mount.