The Vicar of Dibley (TV Series)
Election (1994)
Dawn French: Geraldine Granger
Photos
Quotes
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[first lines]
Frank Pickle : [very slowly] Mister. Hor-ton. Had. A. Shag. Pile. Car. Pet. Installed.
David Horton : Frank, I'm not absolutely convinced that this new shorthand is helping.
Owen Newitt : Sorry I'm late. Sheep exploded. Nasty business.
Frank Pickle : Would you like a quick recap?
Owen Newitt : Well, make it quick. The buggers are popping like champagne corks out there.
Frank Pickle : First we had the apologies, and then the council agreed to give two hundred pounds to the Scots.
Owen Newitt : What the hell for? I miss ten minutes and you all go mad. Why the hell should we give the Scots money?
Geraldine Granger : Calm down, Owen. That's the *scouts*, Frank.
Frank Pickle : Oh, right. We also gave twenty pounds to the Save the Chickens fund.
David Horton : Moving on.
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[last lines]
Geraldine Granger : I think that's enough golf for one day, don't you? I don't really see what you see in it, David.
[casually taps in a 20 foot putt one-handed]
Geraldine Granger : It's so easy.
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[post credits]
Geraldine Granger : Right, just a short one, OK?
Alice Tinker : Right, yeah.
Geraldine Granger : Two nuns in a bath. One says to the other, "Where's the soap?" and the other one says, "Yes, it does rather."
Alice Tinker : Oh.
[laughing]
Alice Tinker : Yes.
Geraldine Granger : Do you know, Alice, I'm rather surprised you got that one.
Alice Tinker : Oh yes, very funny that.
Geraldine Granger : Why is it funny, Alice?
Alice Tinker : Why? Well, one of the nuns is deaf, isn't she, so the other one says, "Where's the soap?", the deaf one mishears her, thinks she said, "It makes the water dirty" or something like that, the other one says, "Yes, it does rather, doesn't it." That's right, isn't it?
Geraldine Granger : Yes, yes! Yeah, that's right. I think you should tell that one to your Gran.
Alice Tinker : Yes. I should, she'd love it.
Geraldine Granger : Yeah.
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David Horton : Look, Frank. As much as I would *love* to stay here and listen to more of these *riveting* tales, I must go. But before I do, I just want to assure you that if you vote for me, within 6 months, there will be buses running through Dibley twice a week.
Geraldine Granger : [Nudges David] Ahem!
David Horton : Day.
Geraldine Granger : [Nudges him again] Ahem!
David Horton : Hour. I think it's only right.
Frank Pickle : Oh, that's... that's *very* good news!
David Horton : Splendid.
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Letitia Cropley : It's chocolate spread.
Geraldine Granger : Chocolate?
Letitia Cropley : Yes.
Geraldine Granger : You promise?
Letitia Cropley : Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Geraldine Granger : All right then, I will.
[takes a bite]
Geraldine Granger : Mmm, very, um, unusual taste.
Letitia Cropley : Yeah, well I put in a bit of taramasalata as well
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David Horton : What was that socialist tract you were spouting from the pulpit last week?
Geraldine Granger : I've got a feeling it was the Sermon on the Mount.
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Alice Tinker : Feeling better, Vicar?
Geraldine Granger : Not really, no.
Alice Tinker : Aww.
Geraldine Granger : I had a terrible night - my bottom had a worse one. Those chocolate sandwiches. That Cropley woman really is the Queen of Cordon Bleurgh!