Unhappily Ever After (TV Series)
We Got Next (1997)
Kevin Connolly: Ryan Malloy
Quotes
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[first lines]
Ryan Malloy : Hey, sis! Smell anything different about me?
Tiffany Malloy : Yes. I'd say you were past your expiration date.
Ryan Malloy : This scent is pure gold. I switched towels with Joey the Hound. Yeah, he scores with all the babes, so I took his towel and I rubbed it all over me.
Tiffany Malloy : That's a good start. Add some soap and a little water, and you've got what we humans call a shower.
Ryan Malloy : Wait, I'm wasting my scent on you. Watch my magic work.
[goes over to blonde target and drapes himself over couch behind her]
Ryan Malloy : Hello, baby!
Muffy : Joey?
[turns around]
Muffy : You're not Joey! You used Joey's towel!
Ryan Malloy : So, you wanna go out with me, Muffy?
Muffy : No.
[takes another whiff]
Muffy : Yeah.
[realizes she's being deluded]
Muffy : Never! I hate you!
[can't help herself, takes another whiff]
Muffy : I love you!
[jumps up in panic]
Muffy : I gotta go!
Ryan Malloy : [to Tiffany] Can you imagine what I'd get if I rubbed his underwear on me?
Tiffany Malloy : Crabs.
-
Tiffany Malloy : Ryan, when are you gonna learn that girls just want you to be yourself?
Ryan Malloy : Yeah, that - that works great for me.
[mocks his prowess:]
Ryan Malloy : "Please, girls, please, leave me alone, leave me alone!"
-
Ryan Malloy : That's Mindy. She's a star on the girls' basketball team. This is no time for subtlety. I'd better let her know I'm interested.
[grabs couch's armrest and starts wiggling his hind end around]
Tiffany Malloy : Don't *ever* do that at the zoo! Oh, my God, she's getting up! She's coming over!
Mindy : Hiya, Sweet Cheeks!
Tiffany Malloy : [laughs] Hey, look, I'm really very flattered, but I'm not *that way.* I play on the other team.
Mindy : Me too! I, uh, meant him. Unless you two are a couple.
Tiffany Malloy : God, no! No! Never. That's a whole other team.
Mindy : [to Ryan] Would you like to go for ice-cream?
Ryan Malloy : [elated] Would I? You buying?
Mindy : Yeah.
Ryan Malloy : All right. Well, since you're buying, maybe I should do something for you.
[with a little mincing walk, he's on his way, and she's in thrall]
Tiffany Malloy : [to the viewer] You know, it is unbelievable.
[with laughter in her voice:]
Tiffany Malloy : What could anybody see in a wiggle?
[walks away with the Queen of all wiggles, which causes several male students to keel over like bowling pins]
-
Ryan Malloy : [sharing an ice-cream with his girlfriend] This is it! This is the yard where I grew up. Right there, that's where my Mom dropped me on my head when I was a baby.
-
Mindy : Well, I *am* on the basketball team.
Ryan Malloy : Yeah, the girls' team.
Mindy : [slighted, offended] The girls' team? You wanna play a little one on one?
Ryan Malloy : Yeah, sure.
[passes the ball at her]
Ryan Malloy : Here you go, you can take it out.
[said with laughter in his voice]
Mindy : Thank you. Aren't you going to tie your shoes?
Ryan Malloy : [overconfident] Nah, that's okay. Come on!
-
Ryan Malloy : [Mindy unerringly tosses the ball through the hoop] Nice shot. That's so cute!
[dribbles the ball back to her]
Mindy : [does it again] Two nothing!
Ryan Malloy : That was so cute. Time out!
[sits down to tie his shoelaces]
-
Mindy : [after trouncing Ryan] Don't feel bad. I am on the team.
Ryan Malloy : Yeah, the girls' team.
Mindy : You played great!
[suggestively:]
Mindy : Hey, a good game of basketball gets my juices going. Let's go up to your room and take a shower.
Ryan Malloy : Well, I always kinda liked a shower, ah, but you can take one if you want.
Mindy : I mean, *a shower... You and me* together.
Ryan Malloy : *What* is your hangup with showers?
Mindy : It's, not just a shower.
Ryan Malloy : Well, what do you mean? I'm not a genius, for God's sake!
Mindy : I wanna make love to you!
Ryan Malloy : Oh! No, I don't wanna, because you beat me at basketball!
Mindy : Well then, let's play again, and I'll let you win!
Ryan Malloy : Just go home, okay?
[shoos her off]
Mindy : [tries once more] I suck at football.
[leaves dejectedly]