Unhappily Ever After (TV Series)
The Temptation of Jack (1996)
Nikki Cox: Tiffany Malloy
Quotes
-
Jennie Malloy : Well, you chased my other child away, so you must pay the price. How was school, honey?
Tiffany Malloy : Terrible. We had to do this report on Great Women of History, so I figured that rather than the expected "yes, Madame Curie was great, blah-blah-blah" dull the report, I would take the satirical approach and do a delightful devil-may-care report on Ann-Margret. I even did a little go-go dance, including shaking my hair all around, ah, the class screamed...
[demonstrates, the studio audience going wild]
Tiffany Malloy : Just like that.
[sits down next to Mom on the couch]
Tiffany Malloy : You know, I thought I deserved an A+, but I only got an A.
Jennie Malloy : Do I look like I care?
Tiffany Malloy : No.
Jennie Malloy : [smirking] Well, then I guess I'm as good an actress as your idol Ann-Margret.
Tiffany Malloy : Sable got an A+. She did Golda Meir, Nobel Peace Prize, big deal, I'd like to see her fall off a stage in Vegas and still get up and finish the show.
[but Jennie is not a receptive audience]
Tiffany Malloy : Oh, you're no good at this, I need my Daddy to come home and start adoring me.
-
Tiffany Malloy : Daddy, I need to speak to you privately please.
Jack Malloy : [as he follows her, muttering:] Why does everybody always want to speak to me privately when I'm eating or drinking or sleeping, why can't they just call me at work when I'm doing nothing?
[sits down next to Tiffany on couch]
Tiffany Malloy : Daddy, I want her out of here.
Jack Malloy : I want her out of here too, she's been killing me for twenty years.
Tiffany Malloy : No, Daddy, I'm talking about Sable.
Jack Malloy : Oh.
-
Sable O'Brien : [on couch, next to Tiffany, but with their backs to each other] Ryan, would you hurry, I need a ride to the party!
Ryan Malloy : [voice coming from upstairs] All right, I'm coming, I'm just sliding into my leopard briefs!
[at this, both girls choke on their snacks]
Sable O'Brien : [to Tiffany] If anyone calls for me, I'll be home late, okay?
Tiffany Malloy : Oh, so now I'm your answering machine, huh?
[taunting her:]
Tiffany Malloy : Press One if you got my number from a matchbook, press Two if you think you might have caught something from me, press Three for group rates.
Sable O'Brien : You'd better start getting along with me. After all, we're practically sisters, what with your father getting so close to my mother.
Tiffany Malloy : My Daddy wouldn't touch your mother. As a matter of fact, I don't really even think he touches my mother.
Sable O'Brien : Men don't say no to my Mom, and my Mom doesn't say no to men.
-
Tiffany Malloy : Now, I want you to march over to Sable's house, and tell her mother that... that mothers and daughters need to spend time together.
Jennie Malloy : [calling to her] Tiffany, would you like to help me cut the cake?
Tiffany Malloy : [fake smile] I'll be right there.
[annoyed, to Jack:]
Tiffany Malloy : Uh, she's so needy.
Jack Malloy : Mm.
Tiffany Malloy : Daddy, if you don't do it, I'm just going to have to do this.
[pouts]
Jack Malloy : Oh no... not... not... not the pouty lip. And not the Bambi eyes.
[Tiffany does both]
Jack Malloy : All right, all right, I'll... I'll do it.
-
Tiffany Malloy : [phone rings] Hello? No, no, Sable's not here right now.
[mischievous:]
Tiffany Malloy : Why, you must be her baby's father. Hello?
[no-one at other side, bursts out laughing, shivering with delight]
-
Jack Malloy : [re Sable] Hey, who's that? She seems like a very nice girl.
Tiffany Malloy : I hate her.
Jack Malloy : I hate her too.
-
Sable O'Brien : [eating cake with Tiffany, but they're ignoring each other] Ryan, will you hurry? I need a ride for the party!
Ryan Malloy : All right, I'm coming, I'm just sliding into my leopard briefs.
[disgusted, both girls gag on their cake, spitting it out]
Sable O'Brien : If anyone calls for me, I'll be home late. Okay?
Tiffany Malloy : So, now I'm your answering machine, huh? Press One if you got my number from a matchbook. Press Two if you think you might have *caught* something from me. Press Three for group rates.
Sable O'Brien : You better start getting along with me. After all, we're... practically sisters. What with your father getting *so* close to my mother.
Tiffany Malloy : My father wouldn't touch your mother. As a matter of fact, I don't believe he even touches *my* mother.
Sable O'Brien : Men doesn't say no to my Mom. And my Mom doesn't say no to men!