Unhappily Ever After (TV Series)

Pilot (1995)

Kevin Connolly: Ryan Malloy

Photos 

Quotes 

• Ryan Malloy : Hey, Dad. Where you been?

  Jack Malloy : Your Mom kicked me out two weeks ago.

  Ryan Malloy : No kidding? Oh well, see ya.

  [going off without a care] 

  Tiffany Malloy : Hi, Dad.

  Jack Malloy : Hi, baby. Uh, you knew I was gone, did you?

  Tiffany Malloy : Daddy, I'm so self-absorbed I didn't even know you were here now.

• Ryan Malloy : I can't believe this. No-one wants to go out with me. Is every girl in this school a lesbian? Katie?

  [on the spot, Katie grabs her best friend and hugs her] 

  Ryan Malloy : Lisa?

  [following suit, blond Lisa grabs her best blond friend and hugs her] 

  Ryan Malloy : Great. We're producing a nation of gym teachers.

• Amber Moss : [explaining the benefits of having divorcing parents to Tiffany]  And the best part for you is, when you fail, it is not because you're stupid, you're a product of a broken home.

  Barry : Uh-huh.

  Miss Taylor : [incoming hot-looking female teacher, short skirt, long red hair, bosomy]  Ryan Malloy!

  [confronting him] 

  Miss Taylor : Somebody stole a mid-term exam from my desk. I know it was you.

  Ryan Malloy : [shrugs]  I'm sorry.

  [remembering what he overheard] 

  Ryan Malloy : I'm the product of a broken home.

  Miss Taylor : [instantly sympathetic]  Oh. Then it's okay.

  [hugs him, clasping him to her bosom, he is in heaven]