Stephanie Hodge: Jennie Malloy

Quotes 

• Tiffany Malloy : [Ryan enters the library with a brown paper bag wafting eerily behind him]  Ryan, what are you doing?

  Ryan Malloy : Mom brought me my lunch. She wanted to come haunt us in school. She's more fun than a barrel of dead monkeys!

  Muffy : [can't figure this out]  How do you do that?

  Ryan Malloy : Well, actually, us magicians do not like to tell, but... I got a dead mother! She's a ghost.

  Jennie Malloy : [appears]  Ta-dah!

  [but can only be seen by her children] 

  Muffy : How come I can't see her?

  Ryan Malloy : Well, nobody saw that Ted Danson show either. Doesn't mean it didn't exist.

  Tiffany Malloy : [to her mother]  Will you please stop touching my hair? How would you like it if I did that to your hair?

  Muffy : You're lucky. I'd much rather have a dead mother touching me than my live uncle.

  Jennie Malloy : [to Tiffany]  Oh, come on! Lighten up! Have some fun too! Well, you don't have that many years left. I looked in the Big Book.

  Tiffany Malloy : I'm dying soon?

  [voice catching] 

  Jennie Malloy : No, I'm kidding!

  [laughs] 

  Jennie Malloy : Oh, it's just the scamp in me! I'm kinda like a cross between Casper and Della Reese. Now, if you'll excuse me, I sold all the clothes from the football team, and practice is *just* about over. Time for my own little *hot butt contest!*

  Ryan Malloy : Oh, that Mom! I haven't had this much fun with a dead person since the time we put that hamster in Grandma's coffin!

  Tiffany Malloy : [remembers happily]  Whoo-hoo!

• Father Guido Sarducci : [to the sham exorcist]  Look, we paid you twenty-five bucks. Now let's see some action!

  Mr. Floppy : Okay. Repeat after me. Evil-a spirit, please, leave-a this house!

  Father Guido Sarducci , Ryan Malloy , Tiffany Malloy , Jack Malloy : Evil-a spirit, please-a leave-a this house!

  Mr. Floppy : Very good!

  Father Guido Sarducci , Ryan Malloy , Tiffany Malloy , Jack Malloy : Thank-a you very much!

  Jennie Malloy : [appears]  Evil-a spirit? Is that what you think of me? Well, I'm not one to hang around some place I'm not *wanted!*

  Father Guido Sarducci : Then how do you explain our marriage?

  Jennie Malloy : Fine! You won't have Dead *Mom* to kick around anymore!

  [heads for front door] 

  Jennie Malloy : If you change your minds, I will be backstage at the Calvin Klein's menswear show!

  [leaves in a huff, is heard singing:] 

  Jennie Malloy : Swing low...